


Maelstrom Drifters

by fuure, PiefaceMcGee



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Character Death, Crossover, Disabled Character, Drug Addiction, Kinks, M/M, Omorashi, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Violence, War, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4659465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuure/pseuds/fuure, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiefaceMcGee/pseuds/PiefaceMcGee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ex-fighter pilot Ronald Knox is desperate to fight Kaiju, but hasn't had any luck finding a drift partner. William Spears, however, is an ex-Marines sergeant and drift-compatible at first touch. The only problem is, he's now the Chief of Science...and he's wheelchair-bound. At this rate, is there any hope for Ronald to achieve his dream of becoming a Jaeger pilot?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Really A Big Deal

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written and co-edited by [Ciel0nn](www.ciel0nn.deviantart.com) and [PiefaceMcGee](www.piefacemcgee.deviantart.com). RP turned fic.  
> Comments will keep this alive, so send 'em in!
> 
>  **Ciel0nn's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.nanoprince.tumblr.com) | [Kuro ask/rp](www.kurocorruptae.tumblr.com)
> 
>  **Piefacemcgee's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.piefacemcgee.tumblr.com) | [Kuro rp](www.twotoned-todie.tumblr.com)

Damn, this base was humongous.

Ronald Knox was really quite lost in the Tokyo, Japan Jaeger facility. Being a little bit tipsy didn't help his sense of direction much, either, and he didn't like asking for help anyway. All the fucking signs were in Japanese, too. Ronald spoke the language very well, but kanji was quite possibly his worst enemy.

"Kaiju" was one word he did recognize, of course. A sign directed him down a flight of stairs towards...well, he didn't know what. There was really only one way to find out. The problem was he found out a little too quickly for his tastes, by stepping on a lace he hadn't even known had untied from his boot, and tumbling down the small flight of stairs with a surprised yelp, followed by grunts of pain.

Well, this was embarrassing.

There was only one man down in Laboratory 1, Primary Kaiju Research, the lab which Ronald Knox had been so unfortunate as to fall through the open doors of. A short distance away, this man raised his head, carefully surveying the grunt thoughtless enough to interrupt his work. 

"Please tell me you're not the repairman." 

The crisp statement, remarked in flawless Japanese, came from Chief Scientific Advisor William Takuya Spears. He sat at an immense desk laden with paper and various scientific instruments. The laboratory itself was a cornucopia of kaiju knowledge, with various organic parts bubbling away in large glass tanks. 

 

"No — you're just a soldier, aren't you?" he answered himself, not getting up from his desk. "What are you doing in here? You're out of bounds, you know." He adjusted his steel-framed glasses and narrowed glacial blue eyes towards the intruder. "Identify yourself."

 

Ronald quickly straightened up and ran a hand through his hair, acting like he had not just tripped down a flight of stairs. "Uh," he uttered, replying in Japanese. "Sorry. I kind of just wandered this way. This place is fuckin' huge, right? Like, my ID card let me come around this way so I guess I have clearance."

 

He had a quick glance around; there were Kaiju parts all over the laboratory, preserved in special solutions in enormous tanks. Gross; he'd stumbled onto the nerd lab.

But this guy was a very, very handsome nerd.

Ronald straightened up again, and he arrogantly ran his fingers back through his hair, letting it fluff neatly down. "I'm not just any soldier. I'm a Jaeger-qualified British Air Force fighter pilot~ So I'm kinda a big deal. So let's try to get along, okay?"

 

William blinked in disbelief as he stared down this cocky blond youth. 

"You only managed to get in here because the door's messing up and won't close, soldier. Now out you go, this instant, before I report you, and make no mistake that I will." There was a faint British inflection that could be heard in his accent. He glared further, sitting back in his seat. 

They really did need this door fixed. If any old grunt could walk in...

Ronald shifted his weight to one leg and cockily rested a hand on his hip. "Ehhh? That's mean. Hey — you're British too, aren't you? You've got an accent. How come we aren't speaking English, then? That'd be more comfortable, wouldn't it?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

He remained where he was, taking a closer look around. "So what's all this nerd shit?" he asked, switching to English. "Huh, you've got Kaiju guts all over the place. Is that a bloody intestine or what?" he added, pointing to one of the tanks.

 

William huffed indignantly. 

"It's a Kaiju sulcus deltoideopectoralis, obviously," he responded in a most proper British accent. "Only an idiot couldn't see that. I won't ask you again, soldier, out of my lab! I won't have you blustering about, tripping over and destroying information that is sincerely vital to the continuation of the human race. You're out of bounds."

Once again, Ronald quite deliberately ignored the order to leave. "Steady on," he replied with a grin. "It's not like I'm going to set fire to your nerd shit just by touching it." He knelt down and securely tied his boot lace once more. 

 

"There. See? All better," he beamed, tipping William a wink. "No more tripping or blustering."

 

William was not amused by any stretch of the word. "You're out of bounds. I'm going to have to call security," he declared primly, his long, slender fingers grasping the phone.

Ronald swanned over to William's desk and leaned against it, giving him his most charming smile. "Aww, hey, don't be so unfriendly!" he chided playfully. "I'm new around here, so I wanna get to know who's who. What's your story? C'mon, handsome bloke like you'd gotta have a good one."

William paused, the phone held in midair. He surveyed Ronald cautiously, but he couldn't deny that charming sunny smile made his heart flutter. Even his, which was always so steely and cold. 

"I am Chief Scientific Advisor, William T. Spears," he declared coolly, adjusting his glasses again — it was something of a tic. "Ex-Sergeant in the British Marines. Don't worry; I don't need to know who you are, kaiju fodder. We can end this conversation here. Off with you."

"Heyyyy, that's not much!" Ronald complained, raising an eyebrow. "Don't be so cold, William." He shifted so that he was resting his elbows on the desktop. "Besides, it'd be rude if I didn't introduce myself too! Ronald Oliver Knox, fighter pilot for the British Royal Air Force, and top candidate for the Tokyo Jaeger program. So I'm definitely not kaiju fodder, for your information." 

He gave William another broad grin, saluting him casually. "Now that we've met, let's be friends, okay?"

 

"'Top candidate'," William echoed dryly. "There's no such thing. You need a partner, so where are they? No...I rather suspect you've just been transferred here for one altercation or another." He set the phone down irritably, then glanced up at him with a frown. 

"I'm sorry about the clear loss of hearing you seem to have sustained. I am Chief Scientific Advisor. For the entirety of this country, magnificent Japan. Do you think I have time for small talk with you, Knox?"

Ronald bashfully rubbed at the back of his neck. "Ah, well, that's the problem. I still haven't found anyone who's drift compatible with me." He averted his gaze and smiled sheepishly, this time running his fingers through his loose, wavy golden bangs. "You're real sharp, too. I just transferred here from Sendai. The official reason is that there's a bigger chance here that I'll find a drift partner than back there."

But he returned his gaze to William, surveying him curiously. "And, well, you're alone in this lab right now, right? That means there's not too much going on right now. C'mon, don't you have a minute or two to kill?"

William groaned aloud. "What do you want from me, boy? Honestly?" he snapped, grumpily sorting the papers on his desk into neat piles. "Can't you find someone else to annoy? Somewhere where you're not breaking the rules?" Maybe they transferred him because he got too annoying. Ronald was giving William a headache already.

"I'm not a boy; I'm 28 years old," Ronald sulked. "And what I want is to make some friends here. Everyone's just like, so busy, but I'm not gonna find a drift partner if I don't really meet people, you know?"  
He leaned more casually against the desk. "Chief Scientific Advisor, huh," he murmured. 

"So you're really important." He grinned, tilting his head a little. "If you're even giving me the time of day, then you're probably a really nice person underneath all that grumpiness."

William narrowed his eyes. "If you're looking for a drift partner, why the blazes are you asking the Chief Scientific Advisor? Honestly." He scooted backwards as Ronald leaned closer, only to see the man's elbow hit the corner of one of the flasks on his desk. 

It went over, spilling over the tops of William's knees. 

"Shit —!"

Ronald's eyes widened, and he immediately leaped to his feet. "Fuck — !" he uttered, hurrying around to the other side of the desk to help. He began to curse in Welsh, removing his jacket with the intention of mopping up this mess. He didn't even know what had been in that flask. God, he fucking hoped it wasn’t acid or something.

"Fuck, I am so sorry — I didn't mean to do that — ah, fuck — "

"Back off!" William ordered sharply, and it was then he drew himself back, revealing the wheelchair he was confined to. "Damn it, you clumsy idiot. Get out of my lab." No immediate burning, so hopefully he would be alright. It hadn't been corrosive, so William was very lucky.

Ronald's heart sank to the bottom of his gut when he saw the wheelchair. Oh, wow, had he ever fucked up.  
"Oh, God. Fuck, I am so, so sorry," he uttered in mortification, backing away. It was definitely time to leave. "I — sorry..."

Feeling very much like a horse's ass, he hauled himself out of the lab as fast as he legs could carry him.

Good riddance, William thought, as he was forced to pull his shoes and trousers off and get under the chemical shower as protocol dictated. It really knocked that stupid grin off Ronald’s face though. That cheered William up a little, even as the cold water soaked him. What a day.

Ronald, for his part, hurried off with heavy embarrassment that day. He still got terribly lost, but a few people took pity on him and showed him where to go. 

The next day didn't seem to be going much better. It was get up, work out, breakfast, and then drills and Drift Compatibility Tests. It was so frustrating. He couldn't click with anyone. He'd always been told it was like magic and that when he'd found his partner, he'd just know. These people were wonderful. Great, passionate people and excellent fighters. People who loved their country and their planet, and life itself, willing to lay down their own to keep everyone else moving.

Ronald wanted the very same thing. So why wasn't he finding anyone?

\----

Bare feet curled against the mats. There was the cool feel of hard wood against palm. 

"1/6. Next!" the sensei called, and into the sparring ring skipped a young girl, barely above 13. She had big green eyes, and her thick blonde curls were cropped close to her head. Had she had it her way, of course, they would be in long tight drills that passed her shoulders.

Silly military regulations, she would pout. 

"Next round: Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford versus Ronald Knox."

Elizabeth flashed a sweet, pearly smile at Ronald and held her fists close to her head in a cutesy pose. "You won’t go easy on me, right~?" Then she twirled the staff in her hands and sharply held it out in a powerful starting stance. “Ha!”

Ronald was caught completely off guard. "What?" he asked blankly, staring in disbelief at the referee. "This is a joke, right? C'mon, bring out the real opponent," he complained in Japanese. "I'm not gonna hit a little girl."

The crowd surrounding them 'ooh'ed cautiously, then the starting gong sounded. In under a second, Elizabeth's staff swept straight up between Ronald's legs and struck him hard and fast and a different kind of 'ooh!' went up from the ground. 

“1/0!”

"Don't be so stupid!!" Elizabeth called as she hit him. "You want to die?" Beneath that cherubic face of hers lay a devil waiting to snap, and snap it had. Ronald crumpled to his knees with a sharp gasp, biting back tears of searing pain. 

"{Jesus — monkey shitting — Christ,}" he gasped in Welsh, managing not to burst into tears. He bowed over, hands firmly beneath his legs. Dear god, it was like someone had lit his balls on fire. "Ohhhh, God — t-that...that smarts," he choked, struggling for breath. He could barely stand. "{Fuck.} Can we start over?"  
Elizabeth wasn't going to let him go, though. "Get up. We're supposed to drift." 

"Go again!" the sensei called once Ronald struggled back to his feet. The call silenced the quiet laughter of the crowd over Ronald's embarrassing state. Elizabeth leapt forward again, tiny and unbelievably agile. Her staff swung straight up and smacked Ronald in the ear, drawing blood. This time, even prepared, Ronald couldn't react in time. He raised his own staff up too slow, and felt the brunt of the impact. He couldn't even follow her movements. Usually, he was the one who got the upper hand, but he was just getting his ass handed to him by this child. It was clear to everyone else in a matter of seconds that they were not compatible. They weren't on an equal level.

"2/0!"

Ronald's blood spattered onto the tatami mat, and he staggered as he held his injured ear, now ringing, in one hand. Fuck, his head was spinning. 

"Go easy on him, Lizzy!" someone called out, another young person. 

 

"Stop, stop. This obviously isn't going to work. Ms. Midford, do you ever stop to consider how often we need to clean this mat?" asked the sensei in exasperation. 

"Let 'er take Mr. Big Deal off 'is 'igh 'orse!" called a tall, dark man with cornrows. Evidently, news of Ronald's introduction had spread. It had, after all, been a week from the day. And then, something within Ronald snapped. The jeering and crowing was quite enough. Fueled by humiliation and rage, he gripped his staff with bloody fingers and began to channel all of his vigor and vim into the fight, searching desperately for openings.

Damn it, he could lay waste to men twice his size, but he couldn't defeat this one little girl? Pathetic.

Elizabeth grinned when Ronald proceeded to continue the fight. Letting his frustration get the best of him, he was throwing himself too strongly into the movements. One time the staff did come within millimetres of her skull, but a smart cartwheel backwards helped her out of that. 

Then she dropped low, caught him behind the knees with the staff, and once he was on the ground she smacked him square in the face with it. It was a playful move, though, as a full strength strike would have knocked him straight out. 

 

She giggled as she hovered over him. "3/0! Can I go and have sweets now? This isn't fun anymore, and I kind of feel sorry for him."

And Ronald knew that she had held back. He could see that as clearly as the difference between black and white. And it was the most fucking humiliating thing he had ever experienced in his life. Blood dribbled down from his nose and across his cheeks, down again onto the tatami. 

 

Disappointed, Ronald shut his eyes and leaned his head back onto the mat. He knew now to quit before he humiliated himself further.

"...I forfeit this match," he muttered. "Go have your sweets, Elizabeth."

"I'm so glad! Mama will be ever so delighted to hear I won again!" she exclaimed, cheeks bright and rosy. Elizabeth climbed off and skipped away, while a handsome young Indian lad helped Ronald to his feet with a smile but no words. 

"Well, Private Knox, we're out of candidates for today. Best heal up and try again tomorrow," suggested the sensei, rubbing his bald head. Ronald nodded, barely managing to conceal his misery, and bowed to the sensei, though he longed to run away. To do that would be even more shameful than what he'd already just gone through.

He gave the young Indian man a grateful nod and pat on the shoulder, and went on his way to the hospital wing to get bandaged up. It was after that he went to the cafeteria on the doctor's orders, though he definitely didn't have much of an appetite. He unhappily stirred some rice around in a half-eaten bento. All these great people, and he hadn't made any friends. Not a one.

His reputation as a drunk and a fuckup may have beat him from Sendai, and even if it hadn’t, word of last week’s incident had spread like wildfire.

——-

Hot, cheesy lasagna. William could feel his stomach rumbling the entire way to the cafeteria. He just loved the thick, soft, white cheese that smothered the top. And a nice orange juice would do well by. 

"Nice to see you, Dr. Spears!"

"How's tricks, doc?"

"Lunch's on point today, sir!"

William responded politely to greetings from staff and soldier alike. He was well liked around. Scientific knowledge made him friendly with the staff, and military background made him friendly with the soldiers, but what really made him so popular was his actions in a dangerous incident at the base about a year ago that saved many lives. 

But it was exhausting, wheeling himself all the way from his lab to the cafeteria every day. He was a little out of breath by the time he got near the lunch line, and as he passed the tables, who was he to see but Ronald Knox, sulking over a bento? 

William smirked as he passed. Judging by the pout, it seemed someone had put Ronald in his place.

Ronald caught William's movement out of the corner of his eye, and he immediately flushed in embarrassment. William didn't seem any worse for the wear, but Ronald knew he had still been a clumsy idiot. He was a little unsteady due to being knocked off balance so effectively, and he had to balance a cold pack over his groin, but he hurried up to his feet to greet William.

"Ah — hey, uh — it was Mr. Spears, right?" he asked, trying to smile sheepishly. "Uh, listen, I just...really wanted to apologize for yesterday. You don't have to forgive me or anything; I'd just like you to know that I really am sorry about that."

 

William drew back, having to look up at him. He'd never get used to that. 

"Dr. Spears," he corrected briskly, quick to adjust his handsome frames. He glanced Ronald over. How was he supposed to address a man holding an ice pack to his groin in plain sight? "Please have a seat; you're embarrassing me," he said with a frown. "For what it's worth, I'll accept your apology — there was no harm done — well, except to my pride, anyway."

"Doctor, right," Ronald murmured, quickly sitting down at the nearest bench. "Sorry. Um...for what it's worth, no one saw what happened. I promise not to tell, either; I know what happened was pretty embarrassing." He scratched irritably at the bandage over his ear. "Anyway...I'm glad I caught you out here. You made it pretty obvious that I'm not allowed back at your lab, so...I'm glad I was able to apologize to you. And, well, thanks for accepting that."

"Right," said William, sitting back in his chair and wondering why he should have had to be embarrassed. "The door is fixed now, anyway, so you'll need clearance or my permission in future if you were to gain access." He reached into his pocket for his wallet. "I need to go and get my lunch, anyway — I was late getting here, so I do hope the special won't be all gone." He glanced irritably at his wheelchair.

 

"There's some left last I checked over there," Ronald told him helpfully. "Hey, if it's alright...can I make it up to you? I can go get you a plate so that you don't have to bother with it, if you want," he offered. Fuck, though, this handsome scientist kept looking at him with such disdain and hostility. It definitely left a little wound on Ronald's very gay heart. A guy like this probably had a wife, anyway.

William blinked at the offer. "O-oh, well." Adjusted glasses. "If it's no trouble to you, I suppose. I'd be perfectly capable of getting it myself," he made sure to point out. "The truth is, they usually will save some for me and the other, er, disabled staff." He cringed at the word. "Here, get on," he huffed, pushing the yen notes into Ronald's hand. 

Their fingers touched. Ronald's were firmer than his. Stronger.

 

Ronald paused a little, his cheeks heating up just a little when he felt William's fingertips. They were so soft and elegant. Piano fingers, he thought to himself. Good for delicate work. And there was something else, too. Something powerful, and intense. He didn’t know how to explain it. Quickly snapping himself out of his little stupor, he closed his fingers around the crisp notes.

"Alright, I got it," he replied, starting to give William a genuine smile. "The special, right? Anything else? I like their radish soup a lot, personally..."

 

"Just an orange juice," the dark-haired doctor replied, turning his eyes down to the table Ronald was sitting at, and slowly pulling himself in to sit. The other scientists wouldn't mind if William didn't join them. Often times they were too busy for lunch, as was he.

Since it was difficult to walk with an ice pack between one's legs, Ronald left it behind when he went to go order William's food for him. He immediate winced as he got up and began to walk, which was with a noticeable limp, but he toughed it out and made his way to the counter. It had been hours and somehow the pain felt even worse. He had to grit his teeth a little to keep from making any noises of discomfort.

It turned out that the staff had kept a portion warm for William specifically, so it was still fresh and delightfully melting with its top layer of cheese. Ronald received it and the orange juice, but did not use William's money. This would be on him; he owed William a favor. He was still in a considerable amount of pain as he fetched silverware, napkins, and condiments as well, but shuffled back to the table, trying not to be too obvious. 

He set the tray down carefully in front of William, and then rather hurriedly sat back down to replace the ice pack. He bit back a moan of pain even at the gentle pressure, but he grimaced through it. 

"Ah, sorry...hope I didn't take too long," he apologized.

 

William pretended not to be looking at Ronald's obvious limp, and instead glanced up at the cafeteria ladies, who waved brightly. He gave a gracious nod in return, then carefully eased the lid off of his lunch. The smell made him salivate. It did get frightfully cold around the station— in fact, it was perpetually so. This would warm his belly. 

"You made your apology; there was no need to pay for my food," he grumbled, picking up the plastic knife and fork and beginning to cut in. "Now I owe you in turn, and I have more important things to be doing than making up debts to a jar — to you." He adjusted his glasses, carefully removing them as the steam fogged over and made it impossible to see.

His naked eyes were frightfully handsome; startling and glacial like ice.   
Ronald was extremely glad to have something covering his crotch, because that frigid look went straight to his loins. Ah, fuck...

"N-no, you don't owe me," he insisted hurriedly, squirming just a little. "It's fine. I was a real bonkura yesterday, so...it's okay. Really."

He shifted a little and turned his attention to his own meal; a bento with a bowl of miso soup on the side, both of which had been cold for a while. He didn't have much of an appetite today. "I know you've got more important stuff to do. So I feel like it'd make more sense to save a couple bucks for a rainy day, right?"

 

William sighed in response, and focused on eating his meal with a lofty British dignity. 

"I'm to understand you've been experiencing a little teasing. You're not helping your own case by losing control of your temper in drift sparring," he lectured. "Or your attitude outside of it. Right now, you're just a cocky young greenie who spilled acid on a cripple and then ran for it like a coward. Not an ideal way to start your time at a new station."

 

Damn, talk about adding insult to injury. This guy was ruthless. Ronald hunched his shoulders a little. "Yeah, I know that," he mumbled in shame. "I was so great in Sendai, but here, I'm a nobody. Big fish in a little pond, they told me."

 

He glanced at William again, studying his handsome face, sculpted so perfectly. "And...yeah, I kinda panicked yesterday. I didn't know what else to do but run when you yelled at me." He sighed dejectedly, his shoulders sagging with the exhale. "I really don't know how I can apologize enough for that. Even on top of a shitty first impression on my half."

William felt faint pity for him. "People will forget about it. Trust me...there are worse things going on in the world than what has happened. You'll make friends, I'm sure of it. Life goes on." 

 

After taking another bite, he returned his gaze to Ronald. Of course, his eyes were actually a little unfocused — he really couldn't see past his nose without vision assistance. Blind and crippled, and that was only the cream on the scone. 

"I gave you a wrong first impression too, didn't I? You thought me nicer than I am, only because I couldn't kick you out of the lab myself. You thought me fully able."

 

Ronald had perfect vision and able legs where William did not, and this made him feel guilty. "Yeah, I made a few assumptions," he admitted. "But to be honest...I still don't think you're a bad person at all. You're stern and businesslike, but...I've noticed people here like you a lot."

 

"I've been here a few years," William said with a noncommittal shrug. He was not one to boast about his accomplishments. "You get to know people. There are some awfully good men — and women — to make your acquaintance with around here. Provided, of course," he said as he opened his orange juice, "that you find someone compatible to drift with. Otherwise they'll probably shuffle you along again."

 

Ronald stirred around his soup with no intention of having any, and a line of frustration appeared on his brow. "It sure as hell looks that way for me," he muttered. "I haven't found anyone. No one I feel...what's the word? Harmonious, I guess. It's either a solid win or a solid defeat. No one clicks. It's so damn irritating, because I know I can be really good. I wanna pilot a Jaeger with someone and save this world. If I can't...if I get shuffled off again, and probably to one of those damn useless walls next time...I'm gonna feel like such a waste. I don't wanna be that person."

 

"Losing your temper won't help, as I have said," William warned. He put the lid back on his lasagna and closed his juice, putting them both in the little bay beneath his seat to take back to the lab. "I wish you all the best, Mr. Knox. I don't care what your intentions are, why you want to do what you do. For fame, glory, or love...If you can save lives, it doesn't really matter, so I do, I do wish you the best." 

William then replaced his glasses and pushed his fringe out of his eyes, back into its normal, neat sideswipe.

 

Ronald sighed again, stabbing a chopstick into the pickled plum on his half eaten rice. He was quiet for a moment, and then glanced up at William as he straightened up and gathered his things. "Thank you," he said simply. "Thanks, Mr — ah...Dr. Spears. Honestly, that's the most encouragement I've gotten here so far. So thank you."

He gave him a brief bow, as was the etiquette. He was still blushing faintly; god damn it, even something like William tidying his hair up was ridiculously attractive. Being so handsome certainly didn't impair his popularity, that was for sure.

"I'm sorry for being a burden. I hope we meet again," he added quickly, remembering his manners.

 

William bowed in turn — as well as he could, given the circumstances. "I doubt we will, but...you must cease that talk of being a burden." He tilted his head, wondering about Ronald's blush. What was he flustered about? Or was that more bruising he hadn't seen at first?   
"Goodness, you're in a right state. You ought to get up to your dormitory and get some rest." He drew back and slid on his gloves, making it easier to move the chair. "I hope you find someone drift-compatible," he said under his breath, then rotated the chair away.

Ronald let go of a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding as he watched William go. "Thank you," he whispered, eyes fixed on him. "I hope so too." 

When William had gone, Ronald glanced back at his cold meal, thinking about the moment that their fingers had touched. There had been something there, hadn't there? A kind of spark. Ronald wanted to chalk it up to mere infatuation, but something in his gut told him that it was something more.

What if it was compatibility? 

He didn't want to let himself even think it. It was a little too far-fetched. And, yet…


	2. Incursion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written and co-edited by [Ciel0nn](www.ciel0nn.deviantart.com) and [PiefaceMcGee](www.piefacemcgee.deviantart.com). RP turned fic.  
> Comments will keep this alive, so send 'em in!
> 
>  **Ciel0nn's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.nanoprince.tumblr.com) | [Kuro ask/rp](www.kurocorruptae.tumblr.com)
> 
>  **Piefacemcgee's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.piefacemcgee.tumblr.com) | [Kuro rp](www.twotoned-todie.tumblr.com)

Sirens began to howl over the sound of the rain and the ocean waves thrashing the side of the station. Another Kaiju, nicknamed Warmonger, and this one was fast. It was about before anyone knew what was happening, and headed straight for Japan.

 

William was slightly battered about as soldiers scampered all around him, occasionally smacking him in the head with their bag, or worse, their gun. They'd shout hurried apologies as they ran on past. Did they have no respect for their superiors? Managing to wheel himself to an area of the deployment deck that wasn't being stampeded, William wondered why the soldiers were even so active. It wasn't as if _they_ were being deployed. Only two were, and William locked eyes with them immediately.

 

Jaeger pilots Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive had reported for duty, and were already being fitted with their combat suits.

 

"This is a Category 4, Michaelis," William called from his deck as things began to calm a little, now that the Jaeger pilots were preparing for jettison. "Are you sure you're fit for the challenge?"  


Sebastian pulled his gloves on, flashing William a devilishly handsome smile. "The beast will be but a sea breeze," he boasted, running gloved fingers through his raven hair. He pushed it back to make room for the helmet. "It shall be no concern to my _bocchan_ and I."  


"We'll let Jigoku Covenant do the talking then, I suppose," William returned coolly. Neither man broke eye contact. Sebastian was around the same height as William (perhaps a little taller), with jet black hair only just passing regulation length. Those dark eyes of his, though, and those soft lips —

 

"Quit acting like we're 'all talk', Spears," said Ciel — a youth, barely 16. Some suspected he wasn't even that, but superiors let it go because if he could drift in a Jaeger and kill Kaiju, that was what mattered.

 

They weren't wrong.

 

"We've killed 7 Kaiju. Our record is doing the talking."  


Sebastian fussed briefly with the knot of the eye patch Ciel wore; a souvenir of the Kaiju attack that had destroyed his family. The young man was fueled by revenge, and Sebastian found that thirst to be irresistibly alluring. The boy's mind was fascinating to delve into, and Sebastian was always reluctant to leave it when they had won their battles.

 

"Indeed; we aren't to be underestimated," Sebastian replied, leaving the knot in a perfect, symmetrical bow before Ciel's helmet went on as well. "So don't go worrying your head...dear Takuya-san," he said softly, glancing up at William from beneath handsome, long lashes. William went quite pink and hurried away to monitor the preparations.

 

The Mark 4 Jaeger, Jigoku Covenant, was raised into the deployment station, and now that they were fully suited, Sebastian and Ciel entered the large robot. William could only hope they did come back, because he did worry, and so terribly. He hated watching his friends climb into those things, when there was a chance they wouldn't come back. And sometimes they didn't. Poor Claude...

 

"All clear! Loading the neural bridge!"

 

William had known Claude very well; they were half-brothers, after all. He still felt the sting of that loss, but he had to put it behind him. They all did. You couldn't move forward while carrying your emotional baggage at the same time.

 

Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive were fastened into place inside their magnificent jaeger, beautiful and deadly Jigoku Covenant, and hydraulics hissed as the cockpit was shut off from the rest of the people on the observation deck. Sebastian gave William a casual thumbs up before their view of each other was cut off, and he and Ciel began their connection.

 

William stared down at his knees, gripping them tightly. Sebastian had better come back.

 

Sebastian and Ciel had a magnificently fast drift-rate and in a matter of seconds the neural bridge was formed. The two males performed preliminary movements, testing their connection, and then they were ready for deployment.

 

William was up in the Control Room with the tech team monitoring all Jigoku's outgoing data, and he watched as the magnificent jaeger was jettisoned down into Tokyo Bay to hunt down the Kaiju.

 

"Warmonger's made landfall!"

  
"Not for long," Sebastian responded, and then he and Ciel braced themselves simultaneously as Jigoku Covenant was dropped into the water. "We'll drive it back. Give it the old razzle dazzle, as they say..."

He gave Ciel a handsome grin as he felt the boy's exasperation, but Sebastian gently urged the two of them on as they made their way to the invading kaiju.  


Everyone would always gather around the enormous monitors, either on the launch deck, or at various points around the station for a purely surveillant view. The control room permitted that and everything else, including interior Jaeger audio.

 

William sighed deeply and settled back to watch the show — only then did he lock eyes with Ronald Knox, currently in a row with one of the commanders.

 

William approached the ledge of the platform and peered over. He hadn’t expected to see him again so soon, if at all. Ronald blushed a little when he caught William's eye, and quickly averted his gaze, only to glance back again, giving him a little smile and a nod of acknowledgment. But he wanted to be professional, so he returned his attention to the monitors and listened to the commanders.

 

Jigoku Covenant slowly made its way to the invading Kaiju, battling its way through the torrential rains and choppy waters.

 

The colossal beast lifted its head, facing the approaching machine, and let out an unearthly, soul-ripping shriek of defiance before charging. Ronald gripped the railing in nervous anticipation, watching intensely as machine and beast collided. William's heart began to pound within his chest.

 

The Kaiju, codenamed Warmonger, was a reptilian-type. It was fast, with a streamlined body, and well armoured. It collided hard, then latched itself onto the jaeger from behind. With that, it snapped its powerful jaws over the jaeger's head, and a million alarms went off all at once.

 

"Interior hull breach! Defence offline; switching to backup!"

 

William drew breath, horrified.

 

"I want a second team standing by!" Commander Takumi ordered. "Who can we get up here?"  


"Danse Macabre!" cried out a young woman from the observation deck. People turned to look, and the woman who had spoken out was none other than the woman in red, Angelina Durless, standing side by side with her drift partner Grell Sutcliff. The two of them were already clad in their crimson Jaeger uniforms, ready to be deployed at a moment's notice. They were rather infamously known as the Gruesome Twosome, as they had a record for dismembering their targets and even ripping out internal organs for swift and effective kills.

 

The scarlet Jaeger Danse Macabre was quite a force to be reckoned with.

 

Grell lifted his chin up and bared teeth that he had filed down into points himself. "Danse Macabre will go," he announced haughtily. "I can't have our _dear_ Sebastian dying on us..." William set his jaw, but he knew all too well that they knew their business.

 

"Get them prepped! Load Macabre into position!"

 

Meanwhile, a fierce battle was raging on. Warmonger had been pulled free of Jigoku's head, and the jaeger's major weapon sounded off, blowing away a large chunk of tail. Warmonger shrieked, a sound which travelled well over fifty miles, and leapt away to wreak havoc elsewhere.

 

"Shit," Sebastian hissed, watching their cabin begin to fill up with puddles of water. There were multiple breaches to the hull through which the rain poured through, and Ciel was getting the brunt of it. They immediately understood that they had to go after Warmonger, and Ciel shut his eyes to let Sebastian guide them.

 

In the control room, Ronald relayed the commanders' orders, even though his heart was pounding in fear. Had any jaeger ever received damage this bad? Jigoku had recovered quickly, but the repairs it would require if — _when_ — it came back...they would be extensive.

 

Danse Macabre was to be deployed immediately. Grell instinctively went to tie his hair into a bun, except like all personnel, his hair was not permitted past chin length. His own was about two inches in length, and he did not let it go lightly.  


As he and Angelina ran to the loading deck, they seemed to be drifting already as they boarded their jaeger.

 

William felt a dull pit of terror within him. That water rushing into the head. Sebastian and Ciel could drown.

 

_They could drown._

 

"Tell them to fall back," he choked out, white as a ghost. "Let M-Macabre in." There was silence on the deck. It was not like the doctor to be so out of sorts, not at all. "Suppose something short circuits and there's an electrical fire! That's one jaeger lost and two dead pilots!"

 

Sure enough, sparks of electricity were beginning to appear as wires were exposed to water. Sebastian and Ciel shared mutual alarm and fear for each other, beginning to make the decision to eject before it could take their lives. Danse Macabre was coming, after all. There would be no shame in fleeing now to fight another day. They began the process to shut the jaeger down where it stood, while simultaneously preparing to evacuate. The sooner the electricity went off, the greater the chance Jigoku Covenant could be used again.

 

As Danse Macabre began its movement, carried by a number of helicopters, Warmonger stepped foot on land. Civillians who had not already evacuated to kaiju shelters began to do so in a panic, screaming and pushing each other out of the way as they swarmed to the bunkers.

 

"We've a loss of 10 degrees in Warmonger's heat signature," noted one scientist. "Massive blood loss. It may tire itself out."

 

"It's not worth the risk," said William, adjusting his tie with a trembling hand. "Let Macabre take them out from a distance." He felt Ronald's eyes on him again but this time he couldn't meet them. He'd feel better knowing the Jigoku pilots were safe.

 

"You have a lot of opinions to bring to the table, _Chief of Science_ ," replied the Commander. "Perhaps if you were a strategist, or a jaeger pilot yourself. Until then, leave it to those who are better qualified."

 

William flushed with shame. "Affirmative, Commander..."

 

Ronald flashed William a concerned look, flooding with worry. William was really, honestly frightened for the safety of these jaeger pilots. Everyone was, of course, but it seemed to be hitting William especially hard. Ronald understood this to mean that he knew them on a personal level. But he wouldn't need to worry much longer; Sebastian and Ciel broke their neural bridge and ejected themselves from Jigoku Covenant. Immediately after, it began to shut down in order to preserve itself.

 

The two pilots stayed close to one another, deploying their parachutes just seconds before landing in the sea. Sebastian took Ciel into his arms, and with the buoyancy of their life preservers, began the swim to land.

 

Meanwhile, Danse Macabre had no intentions of fighting long-range. They followed Warmonger to harbor and began baring its blade-based arms, preparing to slice and stab.

 

Ciel coughed up water as he floated in Sebastian's arms. The salt water thrashed his eyes, but he had to look upon the face of his beloved. "Frightful day. I really wanted to make this one number 8. Now those dreadful red psychopaths will get to claim the prize."

 

"We shall increase our numbers soon, _bocchan_ ," Sebastian assured him as he used his strong arms to pull them forward. "Much as I dislike those two...they certainly get the job done, don't they?"

 

Meanwhile, William went where he could be more useful, arranging a search team to pick up any and all useful Kaiju parts for when and if Warmonger died on land. It was awfully frustrating. William _had_ the knowledge to be making strategic calls as well as scientific ones. And some part of him longed to be up there fighting, too. Keeping his friends safe, along with humanity.

 

Ronald bustled back and forth shouting more relayed orders, before he himself was ordered to accompany William as a guard. Danse Macabre was certainly going to make its kill in the city, and so a figure as important as William Spears was going to require extra protection.

 

He was in the same mindset as William, hating being stuck in the control room when he knew he could be fighting and protecting even more people. Damn it, if only he could find a bloody drift partner...

 

Danse Macabre lifted its left arm as it approached Warmonger from behind, and the arm clanked and whirred as it became an enormous chainsaw. It let out a deafening roar as it whirred to life, and the kaiju turned around in time for the blade to sink itself into the monster's arm and sever it right off. The control room was alive with the tinny sound of Grell Sutcliff cackling maniacally, spilling blue Kaiju blood all over the streets. Not even Warmonger's superior armour could withstand the chainsaw of Danse Macabre.

 

William's team went in in two black SUVs, with himself strapped in the back. His orders, at least here, were vital to the safe recovery of biological remains. And Ronald Knox was at William's side, much to William's dismay. Ronald sat up straight and alert in the back of the SUV, an assault rifle balanced neatly in his lap. The vehicle bumped and swayed due to the ongoing battle creating shockwaves on the ground, and he carefully braced himself and kept an eye on William, who looked extremely put out.

 

He didn't quite dare ask why.

 

Radioactive blue blood spattered across the streets in gallons, and the SUV had to navigate carefully around puddles of it. Another tremendous crash sounded and made the car jump as another arm was lopped off of the kaiju, and a waterfall of blood gushed out as the right arm made incisions into the chest and belly of the monster, making its innards tumble to the streets below.

 

Ronald couldn't help but grimace a little at the sight.

 

A collective cry rang out from the scientists, even William. "Goddamnit...!" Danse Macabre _massacred_ the Kaiju, not leaving any remains intact. They had been spoiled. The Gruesome Twosome always did this, damaging precious data. Vital information lost. William wanted to wring Grell's neck.

 

Macabre's primary melee weapon, the chainsaw (affectionately named Jack) ran through Warmonger's neck, effectively severing the carotid arteries, and the creature let out a wounded shriek, stepping backwards and thrashing about.

 

Unfortunately for the Collection team, the first SUV was crushed underfoot of the Kaiju.

 

Another cry rang out, this one of sheer anguish, and the second SUV wasn't much safer. In an effort to avoid the death thrashing of the monster, the driver sharply turned the wheel, the car slid out of control on ankle deep Kaiju blood, and crashed sharply into a collapsing skyscraper.

 

This resulted in ton-heavy amounts of concrete crushing in the bottom of the overturned SUV. The driver and other passengers of the SUV were killed instantly. Ronald and William alone were spared due to where they had been seated, which was furthest from the heaviest impact. Even upside-down, Ronald could see that William had been knocked out, and was currently bleeding from a cut on his graying temple, as well as from the corner of his mouth. The soldier had to work quickly; he unbuckled and righted himself before doing the same for William. The bottom of the SUV was steadily caving in, so he used his assault rifle to shoot out the window rather than kick it in, and quickly began to drag William out through broken glass.

 

Ronald got him out just as the SUV was crushed entirely. He glanced up at the kaiju above them as it gave its dying shriek, and immediately hoisted William onto his back to carry him away from the collapsing building. He broke into a run as the monster collapsed, shaking the ground and making the buildings around it sway on their foundations. He was going to have to haul some serious ass to get William someplace safer before he could check on him.

 

Danse Macabre struck a victory pose, much to the cheers of millions watching. Nobody knew about the 12 lives that had just been crushed underfoot as Warmonger died.

 

\---

 

Ciel shivered as he and Sebastian were tossed about in the raging bay, the rain hitting them sharp and icy cold. But in the distance they could see a light, the light of the rescue boat sent to pluck them from the water. In it were two of the Naval support team, and a third at the helm.

 

"Another win for humanity," said one as he eased Ciel into the boat, and his partner held Sebastian.

 

Meical was the name of the one who had spoken; the other, Ashe. Ashe covered them in heavy blankets once they were in the boat, and set to work on drying them off so that they didn't develop hypothermia, or worse. "Thank you for your hard work," she said softly to the two exhausted pilots. "That kaiju was surprisingly strong. We'll have you back in Jigoku Covenant in no time at all."

 

Sebastian nodded in appreciation, and draped his blanket over Ciel as well, and he began to undress themselves so that they could warm up faster using their body heat alone. Ashe guided them to a private cabin in the boat for the sake of their modesty.

 

\---

 

On the streets, Ronald had carried William into a sturdy, reinforced subway where he could tend to him in safety. Now that the battle was over, there shouldn't be any more tremors. The scientist was unconscious, so Ronald immediately unbuttoned his collar and loosened his tie to allow easier breathing. But, wait... _was_ he breathing?

 

He glanced down at William's chest, and saw no rising or falling. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ —

 

Making sure that William was lying flat on his back, Ronald felt at his wrist and throat for a pulse, and in his panic, he couldn't find one.

 

"{Don't you fucking dare,}" he choked in Welsh, and immediately began chest compressions. Then, he bent down to begin mouth-to-mouth resucitation, heart pounding in his chest.

 

\---

"What's that...? The Collection team?" Meical's radio had crackled to life with news. "Please repeat, over."

After a moment, Meical looked up at Ashe quickly. "We're the closest ones on hand. The entire Collection team was just taken out. They want us to check for survivors."

 

Ciel raised his head slowly, though he was lethargic and nothing in the world felt better than being pressed to Sebastian's beating chest. "...C-collection team. Wasn't your previous beau on that v-v-venture, Sebastian?" he muttered grimly.

 

Sebastian stiffened a little in fright, and held Ciel's nearly-nude body tighter against his own, only the thin fabric of underwear separating them. "...Yes," he whispered. "Yes, he was. I can...only hope that he is all right."

 

\---

 

William felt life being pushed into his own chest. Air. Light. He drew breath sharply and happened to see Ronald Knox just millimetres from his face, flushed. William's eyes widened, and he slapped Ronald sharply.

 

"You forget yourself!"

 

Ronald reeled back in shock, putting a hand to his cheek. "Owww! {Fuck}, man, that hurt!" he cried in offense, flushing even more darkly. "You weren't breathing! I was trying to give you CPR, you know!! Don't make dirty assumptions!"

 

William sat up, pulling himself backwards, his useless legs following behind. He stared Ronald down accusingly, until reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

"My team!" he cried hoarsely, trying to get a look around. "Where are they?!" Glancing down, he happened to notice a few shards of glass embedded in his side, but it scarcely even registered. His gaze returned to Ronald. "Where are we?!" And then, reaching for a support pole, he tried to pull himself up onto one of the seats.

 

Ronald's anger faded as reality settled in for him, as well, and his shoulders sagged. "They...they're..." he uttered unhappily. "They didn't make it. I think you and I are the only ones who survived the crash. Number one priority is keeping you safe, so...I carried you to this underground subway station. I know this one; it's triple-reinforced to be earthquake safe. We can wait for a recovery team here."

 

He realized he was a little out of breath, so he tried to calm down and exhale slowly. "I'm sorry. It was so quick, and I had to act fast. I couldn't save anyone else."

 

The second shock felt much heavier than the first. "Couldn't...s-save...?" William stared in stunned disbelief.

 

All those people he'd worked with, some even for years.

"You're wrong. If we survived, surely others did too! We must go back!"

 

Ronald shook his head. "There's no way," he whispered. "The first car was stepped on and the other is crushed and buried beneath rubble. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry; there was no time. We can't go back. There's no one to go back to." He glanced up at William, feeling his heart break at the expression on the other man's face. "I would've saved them if I could. But I...it just...there were only _seconds_...I'm sorry."

 

"N-no. I refuse to believe that. I — I won't," came the scientist’s trembling voice. "Not when _I_ am alive, me, a worthless cripple...! Not when I am alive and they are not..!" He reached inside his shirt for his protective vest, attached to which was an emergency transmitter. He was quick to activate it.

 

Ronald couldn't argue with him; he knew it came as a tremendous shock. William would just have to see it for himself. He let William do as he needed to do, all while checking William over for physical signs of shock and doing his best to keep him calm and rested.

 

"They'll come for us soon," he murmured. "You're going to be fine, Dr. Spears."

 

"Shut up. Get away from me — don't touch me!" William drew away, hand gripping the support pole with white knuckles. He would not grieve here; not around Ronald. This was the life of war, and there would always be casualties. You could not expect to get through untouched. William tended to his own injuries once he'd gotten a good distance away from Ronald, tossing bloody bits of glass onto the ground with ire.

 

After half an hour of stiff silence William refused to break, rescue arrived. Meical and Ashe were first on the scene, and an extraction helicopter waited nearby to take them to hospital.

 

Ronald was greeted as a hero, and William was the target of much pity, much sympathy. To lose his entire team in an instant was a severe blow.

 

Secretly, Ronald was pleased by the positive attention he got. It was a refreshing change from the usual gossip, and for once, he felt like he really could make a difference. He hammed it up for the crowd, but truly, he was feeling extremely bad for William. Lost research material, lost teammates...even as the two of them were received, a different team was still at the site, recovering bodies.

 

Even for Ronald, who hadn't known them, it hurt.

 

He just hoped that the Danse Macabre team was getting their asses handed to them for their recklessness.

 

They didn't, of course. It wasn't Macabre that sent Warmonger to land. It wasn't Macabre that stepped on the SUVs. And the team enjoyed much public fame for the kill. The more people loved the Jaeger teams, the more funding and sponsors the program as a whole would receive. Ronald's fame was smaller, restricted only to Tokyo station for saving Dr. Spears, but it was a vastly different world for Private Knox after that. He'd proved his worth.

 

William, on the other hand, didn't show up to work for a week. As soon as the hospital discharged him, he went straight home and stayed there. The thought of seeing the laboratory where he worked day in and day out with those who had been killed seemed too much to bear. So William was given leave, and the gift of being allowed to grieve privately.

 

Ronald found himself missing William during his absence, and wondered when he would come back, if ever. He considered sending a message at one point to convey his sympathies and apologies, but decided against it, realizing that William probably needed some solitude badly.

 

So instead he focused his energies on everything else. He looked for side jobs in Tokyo to help support himself, and took on small temp jobs like making deliveries, volunteering for cleanup work at the battle site, and even cashier work in convenience stores. It was slow, thankless work, but it gave him something to do and brought a little more money in.

 

More than anything else, however, he focused on trying to find a drift partner. He had long lost count of how many people he had gone through; he knew that many of the people he'd sparred with had ended up becoming drift partners to each other and were deployed to different bases in the South Pacific.

 

God, that was frustrating.

 

For William, people dropped by his apartment to offer their sympathies, but William didn't understand why. These sympathies should be going to the families of the fallen, not some guy who used to work with them. He started a little garden on the back verandah, kept company with his little pet bird, played his violin. Time to himself was important.

 

Of course, at the station they eventually brought in new scientists, and William was asked if he felt ready to come back in and show them the ropes.

 

He didn't know if he was, but there was a man he owed an apology to.

 

\----

 

That man was currently stepping out of the shower in his little bunk at the Tokyo Jaeger Base. Like most of the other soldiers there, he opted for a very small room rather than try to rent an apartment in the city. Even the smallest and most humble apartments tended to cost an arm and a leg, so it simply made sense for soldiers to simply stay on base.

 

Ronald was completely exhausted after a very long day. He'd been working hard with the cleanup crews where Danse Macabre and Warmonger had battled, and then he'd spent the rest of his afternoon trying to find a drift partner. He was still unsuccessful, and wondered if he was just not meant to pilot a jaeger.

 

He missed being in the skies in his fighter jets. He missed the freedom and energy it brought him, serving in the Royal Air Force. From what he'd heard, sharing the experience of intimate neural connection with someone else in the cockpit of a jaeger was like absolutely nothing else. He wanted someone to share that with.

 

\-----

 

Chief of Science William T. Spears was entirely independent, despite his paraplegia. He was able to get about at home, as well as getting to and from work by himself. He would not accept a motorised chair, needing to maintain as much mobility as possible. William would go to the elevator, travel to the lobby and outside. Wheelchair ramps were his best friend.

 

And best of all, he owned a small car designed entirely for use by wheelchair-bound people. It was accessed through the back, and one simply rolled inside and locked themselves in. He drove to work and went through all the back ways to get to the soldiers dorms with as little people seeing him as possible, and finally, after no small amount trouble, William reached Ronald Knox's dorm.

  
William had a cup of coffee with him, in a handy little retractable cupholder. He was just considering going for a sip when the door suddenly opened, and he looked up in surprise. It was a little different, seeing Ronald in his casuals, wet hair and skin flushed from the bath. It caught him off guard for a minute.

 

"Ah — ahem — Private Knox," he greeted, straightening up as he waited for salute.

 

Ronald was so surprised to see that his visitor was William T. Spears of all people that he outright forgot to salute him for several seconds. He caught himself, though, and quickly raised his hand to his forehead.

 

"Dr. Spears," he flustered just a little, slowly lowering his hand again. "This is a surprise...what brings you here?" _‘He disappears for a week and then turns up at_ my _door? What could he possibly want with me?_ ’ Ronald wondered nervously.

 

William then saluted in turn. "I...Would you be terribly discomforted if I came in for a few minutes? I will not take much of your time, but it does not do well to leave visitors sitting out in the hall." His heart was racing. Just get it over with, he told himself. And _calm down_.

 

"Ah —!" Ronald immediately opened the door wider and beckoned William inside. "Of course. Come right in."

 

Thank god he'd just tidied the room up that morning. There was nothing out that could embarrass him or William. Ronald nervously twirled a strand of golden hair around a finger as William entered the room; beautiful and regal William who turned heads wherever he went. Ronald found himself glancing at William's fingers. There wasn't any wedding ring on his left hand...maybe this guy was still single.

 

Ronald mentally slapped and scolded himself. _Come on, man, there's more important stuff than that...!_

 

William's eyes slid over each inch of Ronald's small dorm room before he spoke. It was tidy, surprisingly enough, but cramped. What was this, a home for ants? He wheeled himself over to a couch and parked himself beside it, now finally at leisure to bring out his coffee once Ronald took a seat in turn.

 

Feeling awkward, William squirmed a little. "How are y — No, forget that, I'm no good at small talk. Mr. Knox, I really just came to make my apologies to you."

 

Ronald raised his eyebrows a little. "To _me_?" he repeated incredulously. "Well, thank you, but...I don't understand what for, sir," he admitted. William had just received some pretty devastating losses in the past week, and _Ronald_ needed apologizing to?

 

He couldn't help but feel a little flattered. An email could have been made easily, but William had chosen instead to make a personal visit. Clearly, it was important to him. Ronald clenched his fists a little, perched on his knees. "I mean — well — I can't really think of anything, anyway. What's on your mind?"

 

William ran a hand through his hair uneasily. "Be...because... you saved my life, of course, and I repaid you rather poorly. I wanted to apologize for that, and for my lack of composure throughout the whole incident. I'm awfully embarrassed." He felt hot in the cheeks, and it wasn't hard to see why. William never had to talk like this. He made a point of never owing a thing to anyone.  
  
"Anything I might have said, I'd...I'd rather like you to forget it. And I should thank you for what you did." He adjusted his glasses and breathed deeply. "Consider me in your debt."

 

Ronald felt his heart flutter a little at William's humble and heartfelt apology. This was the same man who had been so brusque and cold when they first met. Something about seeing him vulnerable like this made Ronald start to want him even more.

 

"Oh," he breathed softly. "That's...well, thank you. I don't blame you for reactin' like that, though...It was a real heavy shock, and...well, if it was me, I'd probably react the same way." He smiled faintly and lifted his gaze up. "But I was just doing my job. You don't need to thank me, sir...that's all right. I'm just sorry, myself...I wish I could have done more for your friends." His smile faded.  
  
"The past couple weeks must've been really difficult. I'm sorry."

 

William's eyes closed as the grief hit him hard. "...I wish I could have done more, too. Because if I hadn't been there, they would have propelled from helicopters instead, and they wouldn't be dead now. Because of me...because of this," he said tightly, gripping his metal prison. Feeling emotional, he looked up to the nearest exit.  


"Anyway, I ought to be off. Thank you for having me, Mr. Knox. I wish you the best of luck in your career."

 

Ronald cringed a little, realizing what a dick move it had been to bring up William's loss. "Ah, er, hey, wait a sec," he blurted, getting up to his feet. "You came all this way for me. And...in fact, you're the first person who's come to visit me here. Ever. Can I...listen, I hope I'm not asking too much, but would you mind maybe sticking around for a while?"

 

He blushed a little even as he asked; he just really didn't want William to go.

 

"Can I at least get you something to drink...?" Well, shit, now that it was already out, he noticed the cup of coffee in William's cup holder. Fuck. What a useless offer.

 

"Uh.." William gestured awkwardly at his cup. Did Ronald actually think William looked to be in any good state at all for chitchat? And it was sort of awkward to pretend he hadn't said anything… "I...I really think I should rather be off. I'm technically on indefinite leave, see, and I shouldn't really be here. But thank you."

 

"Huh? On leave?" Ronald asked unhappily. "That means you might not come back, right? That's..."

 

He looked away, crossing his arms over his chest; not out of indignation, but out of insecurity. "Maybe I'm selfish, but I’d kinda like you to stay. I've really missed seeing you every day."

 

He swept his hand back through his damp bangs and met William's eyes. "I wanna know you better. I wanna be your friend...even if you probably think I'm annoying and stuff. I don't want you to go. You gotta stay, right? There's so many important things you do down in the lab. And I'm sorry I ever called all of it 'nerd shit', he added quickly. "We all need you here."

 

William adjusted his glasses. "I'm sorry, Mr. Knox. This is my personal business, and frankly, I've said too much already. You've been kind to me, and I do appreciate it, but please mind the line before you cross it." He eased himself backwards and rotated the chair towards the door.

 

But Ronald dared to cross that line. He felt like he absolutely had to.

 

"Hang on," he blurted once more, reaching out for William. "You came all this way to talk to me and apologize in person. You brought that business to me. You can't possibly wanna keep that to yourself. I've _been_ there; you'll explode if you do that."  


His eyes drifted to William's wheelchair, and he fixed his gaze on it, heart pounding. William had felt so useless as he was and blamed himself for his friends' deaths. But Ronald knew that that wasn't true in any way.

 

"What happened wasn't your fault," he told him desperately. "It just plain wasn't. They had the wrong people in the wrong jaeger; that's what happened." He clenched his jaw a little.  
  
"You would be so great in a jaeger yourself."

 

William turned his head and looked up at him, positively astounded that anybody would stand up to him like that. "Don't be ridiculous!" he said sharply, though his anger fell short. "Have you looked at me? Have you been _listening_ to me?"

 

He knew it was a bluff. Paralysed people found mobility in the neural link. And it was a failing hope that Ronald didn't know that, too. "You've forgotten your place again, Mr. Knox."

 

"If you're on leave, we're on equal ground right now," Ronald said quietly, though his palms were slick with nervousness. He didn't know that for absolute certain. "I know paralyzed people can work in a jaeger just as well as anyone else," he continued, undeterred. "I've done my homework. I know how it works, so I know just how brilliant of a pilot you'd be."

 

He kept his gaze steady, meeting William's firmly, and sat down again so that they were eye to eye. "Imagine how much good you could do. Even more than the research you do already. Think about how many millions of lives you could save personally."

 

...Fuck.

 

William had to concede that he'd been beaten here. Ronald wasn't as stupid as he looked.

 

"Of course I know that," he said after a deathly silence. "Do you think that isn't obvious to me? Do you think that if it was as bloody simple as that then that's what I'd be doing?"

 

He straightened up, but he was trembling now. "But it's not, is it, and it's not your business otherwise."

 

Ronald refused to break his gaze. He felt a powerful connection here, unlike anything he'd ever felt in drift compatibility tests. There was an equal level of power in this conversation; it wasn't Dr. Spears and Private Knox. This was William Takuya Spears and Ronald Oliver Knox, on level ground, speaking as frankly as they pleased.

 

Ronald felt that balance intimately. It was exactly what he'd been looking for all this time.

 

"Of course it's not that simple," he replied. "I'm not dumb. I'm in the exact same shoes as you are, William. You couldn't find a drift partner, could you?"

 

Ronald smiled determinedly, brow furrowed.

 

"Drift with me."

 


	3. Persistence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-written and co-edited by [Ciel0nn](www.ciel0nn.deviantart.com) and [PiefaceMcGee](www.piefacemcgee.deviantart.com). RP turned fic.  
> Comments will keep this alive, so send 'em in!
> 
>  **Ciel0nn's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.nanoprince.tumblr.com) | [Kuro ask/rp](www.kurocorruptae.tumblr.com)
> 
>  **Piefacemcgee's tumblrs**  
> [Personal](www.piefacemcgee.tumblr.com) | [Kuro rp](www.twotoned-todie.tumblr.com)

 

William stared hard at him. He was feeling that balance too, now, and in his fingertips he remembered what it was like to touch Ronald. "I'm sorry, but that's not what's wrong. I've never tried drifting before; I was never going to be a Jaeger pilot. It's something else," he confessed quietly, breaking their connection and lowering his eyes.

 

"Then what is it?" Ronald asked, keeping his gaze steady. "Whatever it is...let's get you past it, because I think you're missing out on an incredible opportunity. I want to see just how great you really are. What's holding you back?"

 

William looked up slowly, his cheeks flushed pink. "Ronald, I...."

 

Oh, he'd gone and called him by his first name. How unprofessional.

 

"There's no easy way to say it, but I feel you're going to force me if I don't. And I can't very well run." With his most displeased look, he spoke his confession in clipped tones. "I have lingering psychological trauma from the military incident that paralysed me. It's severe and therapy has had little effect. I won't do well in one of those machines, Mr. Knox. I'm sorry."

 

Ronald wasn't convinced. "PTSD, huh," he murmured thoughtfully. "I guess that'd do it."

 

He folded his arms again, shifting his weight to one leg. "I get that. Buncha mates of mine didn't do so well after stints in Iraq and such."

 

He turned his gaze back to William. "But this is different. You don't pilot a Jaeger alone. I know how to help people going through triggers, _especially_ something as huge as PTSD. If we can build that neural bridge, I can guide you through the flashbacks and bring you back to reality. I know I can. And I know you can make it through, too. No matter what."

 

"I can't." William folded his arms stubbornly. "It— it's too risky. It's exactly the kind of environment I'm triggered in and frankly I might end up killing a lot more people than I could save. I don't think I should be in a position where people's lives depend on me. I wanted to get away from all that, it's why I became a scientist here."

 

Ronald clenched his jaw again, furrowing his brow even further. He by no means wanted to dismiss or downplay such a serious disorder, but William was so quick to dismiss himself that it drove Ronald crazy. "I know you're worried," he replied when he collected himself. "And scared. Who wouldn't be? That's some super heavy stuff you're carrying with you. But I'm _telling_ you that you can totally do this."

 

He looked William seriously in the eyes. "I can't even explain how I'm so confident about this. Why I just _know_ that you're supposed to do this. When our fingers happened to touch back there in the cafeteria, I...felt something. Like you're the one I'm gonna drift with." He sat up a little straighter, trying to present himself as seriously as possible. "You're not gonna have to hide in that basement anymore. I know you're scared, but somehow...I know you can kick your fear's ass. So I want you to take my hand and see if you can feel that confidence too."

 

With that, he extended his hand toward William like he was preparing for a shake.

 

"I was never _hiding_ ," William protested. "I have a fine duty, a powerful one. My research has made good strides for humanity in this war."

 

But even though he was angry, and embarrassed, and upset...the urge to touch hands with Ronald again compelled him to reach forward.

He'd felt the link back then, even though he'd only ever drifted in simulation. Slowly, hesitantly, he began to reach out.

 

"I know you have," Ronald said softly. "But you can do even more for humanity this way."

 

Ronald closed the distance between their hands, clasping them together in a handshake, and all felt right in the universe. His hand seemed to fit perfectly with William's; once more those slender and graceful fingers within his touch.

 

This was _right_.

 

"Wow," he whispered, heart racing in his chest.

 

William, in contrast, went quite red. "How come you didn't feel that when you were kissing me?" he muttered, politely drawing his hand back.

 

Ronald blushed scarlet as well. "Huh? I wasn't kissing you. You weren't breathing, so I was giving you CPR." He finally averted his gaze, scratching at his temple. "I hadn't pinched your nose shut yet...but I was about to give you rescue breaths." He smiled nervously. "Sorry to burst your bubble. But I'd never make a move on someone who was unconscious, no matter how handsome they were."

 

William stiffened indignantly. 'Burst your bubble'? The pretentious little—

 

"Don't be disgusting!" he shot back acidly. "You know what I meant! But don't worry, I have no intention of waiting around for you to actually answer the question. I'm going. Mr. Knox, it's been a pleasure. You've received your apology, and my thanks, and now I'm going. Good day."

 

In one quick motion he rolled towards the door.

 

"Ahh — !! H-hey, wait — !!" Ronald cried, reaching out to him, but William had already gone out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

 

The blond's entire body heated up with shame and embarrassment, and he stared helplessly at the shut door. He stood there motionlessly, heart pounding, though internally he was screaming and kicking himself. God damn it, he'd fucked up _again_. He had been _so close_ to getting William to drift with him. He'd seen that hope in his eyes, just that tiny glimmer of it.

 

Judging by that violent reaction, though...Ronald was almost more disappointed that William seemed extremely heterosexual, to the point of being homophobic. Well, he'd have to make sure not to fuck _that_ one up again.

 

If there ever _was_ an 'again'.

 

**—-**

 

Three weeks went by and not a lot had changed. Nothing really did, around a Jaeger station — people lived from Kaiju attack to Kaiju attack. Despite the unfortunate end to William's meeting with Ronald, the brunet found that one thing that did change was his decision to leave his job. Within a few days of the incident, he was back at work, stronger than ever, training a brand new team of scientists for Kaiju parts collection and laboratory work. As far as Ronald Knox went, he hadn't a clue and didn't care to change the fact. The soldier was not let within twenty feet of the lab.

 

For Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive, time was positively crawling by. There was a definite hole in their hearts while Jigoku Covenant was still under repairs. They kept themselves occupied in other ways, of course.

 

The Chinese pilots who drove Mark 3 Jaeger Xangfu Dream, Ran Mao and Lau Xie, had a magnificent place just down the block which, while posing as a Chinese restaurant, was secretly a popular drug den. Sebastian and Ciel went there on occasion to relax, along with quite a few other soldiers.

 

Sebastian was very fond of Xangfu Dream's upscale bistro. It was a successful chain with locations in Hong Kong, Beijing, Shanghai, Taipei, Tokyo, and Osaka, amongst a few others. The Tokyo location was one of the most especially impressive as far as its architecture went, and its success easily paid for the high cost of the land it occupied.

 

As fellow Jaeger pilots and good friends of Lau and Ran Mao, Sebastian and Ciel enjoyed their own private booth within the restaurant.

 

It was a little over three weeks since Jigoku Covenant had sustained its damages, and its pilots were more than a little bored. Ciel suggested Lau's place on this particular day, and so he and Sebastian were seated in their booth, separated from the regular patrons by an ornate silk curtain that depicted herons and water lilies. It was a good atmosphere, and it afforded them all the privacy they pleased.

 

Like all responsible recreational drug users, Sebastian and Ciel would never go to work while the drugs were still in their system, with the exception of exotilen, a drug specifically designed for Jaeger pilots to give them a specific edge in combat.

If they were high, however, someone else would be fighting Kaiju that day. And while it seemed careless to give the job to someone else, the truth was that fighting Kaiju took its toll psychologically, and a reefer in the evening could ease off the creeping nightmares for the night.

 

Lau himself peeked into their booth and offered a lazy smile. "Can I get you boys anything~? Our heroin is top of the line. Perhaps a bump of fairy dust~?"

 

Ciel smirked in turn. "Lau. We just want to relax. You must stop pushing all your trippy drugs onto us. No point in us getting an addiction if we're supposed to be saving the world."

 

Sebastian nodded in agreement, smiling softly. "I prefer marijuana to any hallucinogens, anyway," he added, putting an arm around Ciel's shoulders. "But tonight, I think we should both like to relax and enjoy one of your sensational dishes, Lau."

 

"Oh, yes, how excellent," Lau returned. "I never could see either of you on heroin anyway. Not your type." He raised a long, ornately painted pipe to his lips and took a deep breath. "What would you like?" he asked with a wink.

 

Ciel sat up a little. "I want golden sticky buns," he requested, nuzzling Sebastian affectionately.

 

"Goodness, you always order dessert before the entrée, _bocchan_ ," Sebastian chided gently, kissing the top of Ciel's head. "You'll spoil your appetite." He turned his dark brown eyes on Lau. "As for me, I will have your Mongolian beef. And if I may request your finest cooking wine to season it with...?" he asked politely. "To drink, a bottle of Tsingtao beer."

 

Ciel shrugged and put his boots up on the table. "I want honey chicken fritters, then, and the sticky buns. For drink I'll have a pink lemonade. And you could do us a favour and allow a little privacy, s'il vous plâit." And just so nothing was left to the imagination, he planted his hand firmly on Sebastian's upper thigh and pouted his boyish lips.

 

Sebastian leaned down and pressed his lips to Ciel's ear. "If you're good, I'll let you have a sip of two of my drink," he whispered, resting a hand on Ciel's knee. "You're nearly at that age, you know."

Lau tittered jovially. "Oh, how delightfully taboo, {ne,} Ran Mao?" he purred, and before their eyes the beautiful, lithe young sister appeared from underneath Lau's magnificent silk robes.

 

"Mm," she responded.

 

Ciel rolled his eyes. "You'd know all about it, Lau," he responded, then glanced back at Sebastian. "And I shall have none of your ghastly beer, thank you very much."

Sebastian made eye contact with Lau as he continued to softly kiss Ciel's ear. "Ohh? Ghastly, you say? My...it makes me wonder if perhaps you've been sneaking into your family's wine cellar. How else would you know what liquor is like?" He gave Ran Mao a courteous nod of acknowledgement; one never insulted Lau's _mei-mei_ in any manner.

Ciel squirmed in Sebastian's lap, then reached for the hookah. He inhaled deeply, coughed, and exhaled. "All this time and you completely overestimate my innocence."

 

Lau left them be, still chuckling lightly to himself. The world was full of small joys for him. A tall, slender Chinese man, Lau had short black hair and dark, tapered eyes like brush strokes. At the age of 30, he was ruler of his drug empire, CEO of his restaurant chain, and very popular Jaeger pilot. Combined with Ran Mao's income, he was literally a billionaire. Life was good.

"I find it naughty nonetheless," Sebastian teased, having a turn with the hookah once Lau and Ran Mao departed. "Your angelic face belies your devilish soul. That's just one of the many things I find so fascinating about you, Ciel Phantomhive. No matter how many times we drift, I always find something new about you."

"And I always find one more way that you're a pervert," Ciel countered, shifting around in Sebastian's lap and wrapping his legs around him.

 

"I'm off my face right now, quite honestly," he cooed, kissing along Sebastian's jaw. "I love it." He stared up at him with his one big blue eye, and met his lips.

 

Sebastian's mind was hazing over as well, and he lazily took Ciel's lips into his own. They tasted sweet; the boy had snuck some sweets earlier, there was no mistaking it. "Well, you don't mind my perversion one bit, do you?" he asked, lips still pressed against Ciel's. "You love it even more than you love getting high."

 

A slender hand reached around Ciel's waist and slid down to his backside, cupping and grasping it softly. "Tell me just how much you love it..."

 

Ciel clenched tightly against Sebastian's hand, rolling his hips upwards straight against his man. "I love _you_ ," he said simply. "And don't you love to hear it? I love...you. Every inch...of you..." He kissed him again, letting his hands wander, but the sound of their curtain being opened promptly interrupted their lustful high.

 

"Just put it on the table 'n go," Ciel mumbled.

 

But Sebastian had stopped kissing him.

 

Sebastian had not relaxed his grip, but his attention had strayed from Ciel. The person who had opened the curtain was most certainly _not_ Lau. In fact, the intruder had put quite the look of disgust on Sebastian's face.

 

A familiar face was alight with a manic look of delight, bright green eyes wide and sharpened teeth bared in a wide open grin. It was none other than Grell Sutcliff, co-pilot of Danse Macabre.

 

"Seeeeeeeeb-byyyyyyyyy~" he cooed. "I _thought_ I heard youuu~"

 

Ciel flopped his head on Sebastian's shoulder in exasperation, then he got off the man's lap to face their intruder. "Oh, bollocks, not _you_. Mr. Sutcliff, this is a private booth and a private session you're interrupting."

 

Grell sneered at Ciel; how he hated children. Sebastian had _dreadful_ taste. "I wasn't speaking to _you_ , brat," he sniffed, but quickly switched gears and went back to being charming and flirtatious to Sebastian. "You haven't come to see me in _so_ long. Angelina and I were in the neighborhood and saw you were here, so I came to visit _you_ instead! Isn't that wonderful? Aren’t you delighted?"

 

"I'd say rather not," Sebastian muttered, clearly by no means thrilled by this conversation. "You're being a nuisance, Sutcliff."

 

"{So meeeeaaaannnnnn,}" Grell whined in Japanese. "We used to be _such_ good friends."

 

"Yes, and that was one drunken night I'd very much prefer to forget. Now leave us be before I ask Ran Mao to 'escort' you out," Sebastian replied scathingly.

 

Ciel narrowed his eyes, then took his complimentary glass of water and splashed it in Grell's face. Nobody called him a brat. "Didn't you hear? We said 'sod off!'" he hissed. "You're ruining a fantastic high and what was going to be an absolutely stellar round of fellatio. Out!"

 

"Well, I _never_ — !!" Grell sputtered indignantly, raising his hand to strike Ciel. Before he could, Sebastian grabbed Grell's wrist and immediately bent it to an extremely unconventional angle that left the redhead yelping in pain.

 

"Leave. _Now_ ," he growled.

 

Grell didn't have a chance before Ran Mao appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, with a small, ornate dagger pointing at Grell's throat.

 

"Unwelcome," she spoke in her quiet monotone. "Depart immediately."

 

Grell's eyes welled up with crocodile tears, and he huffed and backed off. "Mean!" he cried resentfully. "Mean, mean, _mean_!! All of you!"

 

With that, he hurried out, Ran Mao watching him like a hawk to make sure he left the premises. When Grell was gone, she turned to Sebastian and Ciel, bowing slightly. "Apologies," she murmured. "Security will be tightened."

 

Ciel huffed to catch his breath, red in the cheeks, and he nodded in appreciation to Ran Mao. "{Xie xie,}" he said quietly, with a small bow to further apologise for his earlier rudeness. Then he flopped back into the booth, and drew his legs close to his chest, his lower lip trembling.

 

Ran Mao nodded and shut the curtain for them, leaving them to their privacy once more. A bouncer was stationed outside the restaurant's entrances to ensure Grell would not come back inside while Sebastian and Ciel were.

 

Madame Red, however, stayed behind in an open table calmly sipping tea, and would pay her servers a hefty tip as apologies and compensation for Grell's annoyances.

 

Sebastian leaned back in his seat and gathered Ciel back into his arms. "Ignore that _thing_ ," he whispered, kissing his cheek. "You are not a brat. He doesn't know how magnificent you are."

 

Ciel buried his head against Sebastian's shirt. "It's not...that, my raven. I simply got startled, and started thinking about our battle with Warmonger. The nightmares...They don't half let up."

 

Sebastian's expression sombered, and he slipped his arms even tighter around Ciel, giving him his warmth and comfort. "I see," he whispered. "You were frightened..." He pulled Ciel back into his lap and held him like a father comforting his son. "You are safe now, but I will hold you for as long as the nightmares haunt you. All we can do is lose ourselves...and forget for a little while."

 

Subtly, he pulled the hookah on the table a little closer, offering it to Ciel if he wanted it.

 

Ciel glanced up and nodded, taking the hookah mouthpiece and inhaling deeply. Then, he leaned back to Sebastian and kissed him, letting his lover take all the smoke as one small tear ran down his cheek. "I couldn't bear to lose you." He needed Sebastian with him up there, helping him take his revenge, but it would all be for nothing if he lost Sebastian in the process.

"You shall not," Sebastian promised when he had inhaled Ciel's smoke. "Jigoku Covenant is so named as a symbol of my devotion to you. Neither of us shall perish alone. Never one or the other...when we go, it will be together."

 

He held Ciel closely, and took his lips into his own once more. "You will never be alone."

 

———

Meanwhile, William had some personal business of his own to attend to.

 

He'd knocked off work an hour prior and driven to Shinjuku Ni-choume, to one very particular cafe that would be closing in about an hour.

 

A young man leaned against a building, lazily lighting up a cigarette. A soft, fluffy mop of pale blond hair adorned the top of his head, and he wore fashionable clothing, punctuated by a feminine touch that consisted of very short shorts, thigh-high socks held up by garters, and knee-high heeled boots.

 

He glanced up as William crossed over to his side of the street in a wheelchair. Given the amount of gay clubs around here, and the general appearance of this man, there could only be one reason he was there.

 

"{Ne, oyajii}," called Alois Trancy, taking a draft from his cigarette. "Looking for a fun time?"

William glanced up as he reached the sidewalk, a bit of a scowl touching his handsome features.

 

"I'm thirty-five. The only way I could possibly look an oyajii would be if you were a child, and therefore clearly too young to be asking gentlemen for a fun time. Lo and behold, I wasn't wrong."

 

He glanced the blond over. There was something familiar about him...

 

Alois got a faint feeling of familiarity from William, as well, but passed it off as lots of the gay men in this area looking very similar.

 

He knew his most alluring feature to older men was his bratty youthfulness, so he approached him, walking not unlike a supermodel down a catwalk. "Ehhh? How could you be anything but an oyajii? Graying hair, a wheelchair...seems old to me," he teased, perching his cigarette in his lips. "Besides, I'm old enough~ I like having fun. So what do you say, oyajii? Want me to show you around?"

 

"I know my way around perfectly well, and unfortunately for you I'm not interested in {shota}," William replied crisply, and as soon as Alois came closer, and he got a look at his face, it all came rushing back.

 

"You!" he uttered, eyes widening imperceptibly. "You're Alois Trancy! You were C...Claude's —!"

 

Alois got the world's most perfect 'oh crap' look on his face as he suddenly recognized William. Chief of Science, William Takuya Spears. Former coworkers in the Tokyo Jaeger Base.

 

"{Fuck!}" he uttered, backing away. Just as quickly as he had accosted William, Alois fled into the nearest alley, dropping his cigarette as he bolted.

 

William stared after him in blank shock. Alois Trancy, Jaeger pilot and drift partner to the late Claude Faustus. What a tragic tale that had been. When their Jaeger sank into the ocean, Alois was the only survivor. Claude's body had never even been found, and Alois had received no closure for his death. Contrarily, now that he no longer had a drift partner or a Jaeger, he was dismissed from his role. Being underage and without parents meant he was shipped off to a foster home, and nobody had seen him since.

 

Clearly he hadn't stayed there long. This sort of life, working on the streets, luring older men...how terrible. Claude would have been so disappointed.

 

With a heavy heart, William went up the ramp and into the cafe. A lemon curd tart might lift his spirits some, but he knew he'd have to try and bring Alois home.

 

"{Irashaimaseeee!}"

 

A chorus of pleasant male voices rang out when the cafe door was opened, ringing a little bell to announce a customer's arrival.

 

The host on greeter duty that shift was a tall and handsome Japanese youth, hair bleached and teased, but not obnoxiously so. He looked more eclectic than like a J-rock star, as was the fashion amongst gay cafes and host clubs. He greeted William with a bright and excited smile.

 

"{Dr. Spears! Welcome back; it's good to see you!}" he beamed.

 

Somewhere at one of the tables, there was a loud clack as a cup of tea was dropped. The greeter turned, starting a little, and attention was diverted to a very wide-eyed Ronald Knox, clad in a neat and sharp cafe uniform. White button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, neatly pressed black waistcoat and tie, neatly pressed black slacks with black dress shoes, and a black apron tied round his waist.

 

The blond was shocked as anything to see William there, having been under the assumption that the scientist was heterosexual, but now all his suspicions had been confirmed.

 

He had no time to gloat to himself, though; he had to be professional to the customer he was serving. "{Awww, that was really clumsy of me, huh? I'm sorry, Kimura-san, I'll clean this up right away,}" he apologized as he pulled a towel from his apron pocket. "{I'll bring you a new cup of tea.}"

 

William was absolutely mortified at being seen here by Ronald Knox. What a shame, he'd been doing such a good job at concealing his sexuality, too. Although the mere fact that anyone could think he was heterosexual was laughable, even for him. But he wiped the look off of his face quickly and hoped Ronald wouldn't come to serve him. Ronald couldn't have been working here long at all. Under a week. William frequented the place often, and they adored his patronage. The ideal customer, really.

 

"{Just a flat white and some of your finest lemon tart}," he requested in his most pleasant Japanese, wheeling over to his usual spot by the window.

This cafe was one of his favourites, quaint and French-style and serving the loveliest cakes and pastries, not to mention its array of absolutely divine waiters.

 

Exactly as William dreaded, however, Ronald was the only server available; the others were working as hosts and spending personal time holding conversations with small groups of men. When William's order was ready, Ronald was the one who brought it to him, carrying a platter with white gloves, and neatly set the plate in front of William, followed by the teacup and saucer with coffee. Ronald very, very badly wanted to ask William what he was doing there, and to tease him gently, and apologize for what had happened, and a myriad of other things, but he shoved it all down and treated him like any other customer.

 

"{Can I get you anything else today, sir?}" he asked in a friendly and pleasant voice, giving William his most winning and charming smile. "{We have a special today on take-home strawberry shortcake.}"

 

William didn't even look him in the eye. The look on Ronald's face when he'd come in; that was triumph, clear as day. "That will be all, thank you," he said curtly, his gaze wandering out the window. He wouldn't give Ronald the pleasure. After a moment, he began to open a small packet of sugar and stir it into his coffee.

 

Ronald understood, even though he wished he didn't. When he left to attend to other customers and refill drinks, the greeter Mamoru approached William to make friendly banter. "Cute, isn't he?" he asked with a grin. " _Rocchan_ just started three days ago and he's such a natural! But even if he messes up, please go easy on him, okay?"

 

William was more than happy to talk lightly with any of the other hosts, and a few of them did drop by to say hello while he nibbled his sweets.

 

One very exuberant waiter sat down on comfy leather chair next to William. He had hair of a rich burgundy and skin like molasses. That and his baby-face were his selling points. He flashed William a pearly grin.

 

"Taku-chan!" he buzzed, and William went a bashful red.

 

"Please, Soma, it's 'William'," he replied. "Sebastian must have been spilling secrets again, if I'm not wrong."

 

This was Soma Asman Kadar, beau of Agni Thaman, the absolutely beautiful pâtissier who made all the delicious cakes sold here.

 

"Aww! But Sebastian told Agni and Agni naturally told me! You can't blame him!" Soma grinned.

And upon learning that William had come to visit, Agni himself paid a visit to William in turn. "Now, now, Soma — don't go embarrassing such an important guest," he scolded playfully, resting his hands on Soma's shoulders and giving William an apologetic smile.

 

Agni truly was beautiful, and together he and Soma made a beautiful couple. Agni was extremely modest about his appearance, but his bronze skin and silver hair and eyes were most striking. Though he would still have turned a few heads in his native India, in Japan he seemed even more exotic, which gave him quite the amount of popularity that kept people flocking to the cafe, just to catch a glimpse of him.

 

"Forgive me for telling what was not mine to tell," Agni apologized with a bow. "That was quite rude of me, even if I heard it secondhand."  
  
He and William exchanged a silent glance; a nod of understanding. Agni had a deep secret unknown even to Soma. The only way he could have heard William’s most personal nickname was from Sebastian Michaelis, and that was because Agni was secretly a jaeger pilot. He kept his identity a secret from all but a very, very select few. Agni Thaman piloted a jaeger with Eric Slingby, the African-Scottish soldier who loved poking fun at Ronald from time to time and throwing back a few each afternoon. Soma was quite the pacifist, and would never have understood Agni’s need to fight for the world Brahma had created under Vishnu’s will.

 

"Firstly, I am no kind of important guest," William replied, raising a hand politely. "Secondly, I know you of all people would never mean any harm. You have my forgiveness." Agni still made his heart flutter, and the three of them got into quite an animated conversation now that there was no more baking to be done for the day.

 

Out of the corner of his eye William could see Ronald off in one corner, taking a small sip out of something.

 

...Was that alcohol?

 

William pretended he hadn't seen.

 

"Leftover cake? No, I certainly couldn't, though it is very kind of you to ask and you know I love your culinary creations. No, Mr. Thaman, it's hard to maintain a figure like this in my current state. This delicious lemon curd will do me fine," he continued on warmly.

 

A visit to this place always lifted his spirits, and he kicked himself for not going earlier in his leave.

 

Soma stood up abruptly. "Woo! Five o'clock! Knock off! Agni and me are going to dinner!!" he announced, loud enough to turn a few heads. "What about you, Will?"

 

They knew why he was here so late in the day. He was here for a specific man, and that specific man shyly poked his head out the door behind the bar and smiled. William nodded to him in acknowledgement. "They're plans. That's all you need to know."

 

Soma moaned in protest. "You never give us any good gossip!"

Ronald couldn't help but glance curiously over at William, wondering what those plans were. The other customers began to leave, and the hosts clocked out, but Ronald lingered just a little longer to see if he could discover what William's plans were.

 

"Oh, Soma," Agni shook his head with a smile. "You already get so much from the other customers. William is entitled to his privacy, after all."

 

Alan Humphries, the cafe manager, supervisor, and financier stepped out onto the floor out of uniform, in a casual suit. He was a handsome, pale young Englishman, not very much younger than William. He only had eyes for the scientist, and the way William returned that look made Ronald's jaw drop a little.

 

A date?! He was going on a date, wasn't he?!

 

William returned a faint smile and paid what he owed before greeting Alan tenderly, touching hands. Just before they left together, William locked eyes with Ronald across the room; briefly, just enough to show who was the victor here.

 

Ronald flushed in both embarrassment and jealousy, unable to help scowling at William as he and Alan left the cafe. Ronald quickly clocked out so that Soma and Agni could close up shop, and then caught the first train to the Jaeger base so he could steam and fume over it in private. _He_ wanted to be the one on a date with William...! That jerk didn't have to be so smug about going on one with someone else...

 

He slowed down a little bit once he got to his room, and huffed once he’d slammed his door behind him. But the blond leaned back against the door, not sure why he felt...

 

What _did_ he feel? Hurt, betrayed? But it didn’t really make sense. William was super handsome, but...

 

He shook his head. “Yeah, right, Knox,” he mumbled as he locked the door, and then pulled from his jacket pocket the flask William had caught him sipping out of. He knocked his head back and drank from it until it was empty, and then tossed the empty thing onto his bed to fill up again later. “Like that guy would ever be interested in your drunken ass.”

 

Ronald then flopped onto the bed, still fully clothed, and sulked until the alcohol pushed him to sleep.

 

 

——-

  

 

 

Two days went by after that, and a large storm had been brewing off the coast. William watched the sky fondly in his spare time. He didn't get a lot of it, training the new science team. One of the scientists was more or less an autistic savant who went only by Pluto, and his gift was working with computers. The sort of logarithms, code and simulations that Pluto could create were stronger than their current artificial system, and so Japan's most famous Kaiju research lab had received him as an addition to their team.

 

It didn't make it easy. William had to learn how to work with Pluto, and half the time this beautiful albino didn't even want to wear clothes. It would be an effort, but all humanity would benefit if William could work together with him.

 

However, he couldn't stop thinking about how he'd seen Alois around the other day, and he thought he really ought to tell Sebastian, who knew the boy well through his ex, Claude.

 

When he finally found time for a break he called Sebastian and agreed to meet up with him in the cafeteria. Sebastian had arrived first, having more free time than William, and was enjoying a cup of tea when William entered the cafeteria. He spotted William out of the corner of his eye and waved slightly to catch his attention and beckon him over.

 

"How long has it been since we've had a private meeting?" Sebastian wondered aloud, greeting William with a smile. "Your message sounded urgent, so of course I couldn't refuse..."

 

William smiled faintly as he parked himself at the table and set his steaming hot coffee down. It was colder than ever, today, and William felt decidedly underdressed. "Would it be refused if it wasn't urgent?" he asked coyly, leaning against the table. The metal was icy cold to the touch and he promptly withdrew with a shiver.

 

Sebastian gracefully shed his coat and rested it against the table for William to comfortably lean against. "Oh, who knows," he replied vaguely. "I can be a little selective. And you and I both know that I don't like to stray from my _bocchan's_ side for long. If, for instance, you had asked for help picking a tie colour...I might have pretended not to receive the message at all."

 

"How cruel," William teased lightly. In each silence he could hear all the words he wasn't saying to Sebastian.

 

_Thank god you're alive. I miss you. I'd love to have you back._

 

But he said nothing of the sort, resting snugly against Sebastian's warm coat. The man's words were cold, but his gestures spoke volumes.

 

"Well, I won't hold you up from your child lover, and I'll just say what I've come here to say."

 

Sebastian comfortably leaned an elbow against the table, meeting William's eyes with an expression that acknowledged and welcomed William's unspoken words. "Oh, come now, he's already sixteen," Sebastian replied with a playful expression, deliberately pretending to miss the point. "But onto more important matters...what's on your mind, Takuya-san?"

 

His voice whispered the name like honey; he still called William that in private.

 

William blushed and quickly adjusted his glasses. "Ahem...Right. There's something you ought to know." He raised his head again and took a sip of hot coffee to soothe the cold pit in his stomach and the butterflies.

 

"I was out in Shinjuku Ni-Choume, and as I crossed the street a boy prostitute tried to offer his services to me. Sebastian...it was Alois Trancy."

 

Even Sebastian was deeply surprised by this, and his composure dropped enough to betray his true feelings on the matter. "Really, now?" he asked with raised brows, taking his hand off his cheek. "Alois Trancy...are you certain? He was supposed to be in foster care. What is he doing in Nicchou? It isn't even red-light."

 

William nodded. "I can't say why he was there, but it was him without a doubt. That platinum hair, and those bright blue eyes, and that filthy mouth. And as soon as I recognised him, he high-tailed it. I can only assume he's run away from the foster home and made a life for himself as a prostitute. Like how he was back then."

 

Sebastian's brow creased with worry, and he frowned. "...The loss of Claude was devastating for everyone," he said quietly. "You may be aware that he and Alois were lovers, much like my Ciel and I. It stands to reason that Alois was likely hit the hardest...but I never predicted his trauma could have run this deep."

 

He glanced back up at William. "If he's reverted back to his old ways, he could be in psychological danger. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

"I truly cannot say," William apologised. "As it happens, my latest beau works at a cafe, which Alois was waiting right outside of. Maybe I'll see him again. Or maybe I should go to the police." He glanced up. "Far be it from me to impose judgment, but Alois is an underage sex worker. He'd be in a lot of trouble."

 

Sebastian nodded. "It could also mean terrible things for the Jaeger Program's reputation. For an ex-pilot to land himself in such a situation...it would be a scandal. Perhaps even a public outcry. As it is, people are protesting Jigoku Covenant and calling it child endangerment. Which, technically, it is, but...that's not important right now."

 

He leaned back in his chair. "We may need to handle this ourselves — or at least limit an investigation to within members of the Jaeger program. Involving the police is too risky if we'd rather keep this out of the public eye."

William sighed deeply. "I know a man upstairs who'll be more than willing to deal with this discreetly. I'll see what I can do, though it mightn't be much. I just...supposed you should know."

 

Rather boldly, he reached out and squeezed Sebastian's hand. "Thank you for your time."

 

Sebastian smiled softly and nodded, squeezing William's hand in return. "Of course. I wonder if I will ever get to meet this new beau of yours...? I hope he treats you well."

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a little shock of blond hair peeking around a nearby corner. That Ronald Knox again...what a pest. Without acknowledging him, Sebastian lowered his voice. "Ah...it seems you have an admirer behind you," he murmured in amusement. "Private Knox ought not to eavesdrop on other peoples' conversations. Perhaps you'd like to reprimand him?"

 

William's tender expression twisted into a scowl. "The less I need speak with him, the better. I'm going to sneak off to the lavatories, if you'd care to reprimand him in my place."

 

He reluctantly released Sebastian's hand and drained the last of his coffee.

 

Sebastian smirked a little and ran his fingers through his long bangs. "Ahhh...if I didn't know better, I would say that the two of you are having a lovers' quarrel," he replied slyly, delicately hiding his smiling lips behind his fingers. "What an interesting couple you would make. But he is your ward, William; I've nothing to do with him. I wish you the best of luck~"

William smacked Sebastian lightly on the arm. "He's no ward of mine, and I said distract him," he huffed, already eager to get on after all that coffee. "Otherwise I'll be reprimanding _you_."

 

With a lofty toss of his hair, William wheeled away and headed down the long hallway to the men's bathrooms.

 

Simply because he liked being difficult (especially when pushing William's buttons got involved), Sebastian remained where he sat and did not make any attempt to distract Ronald or in anyway divert his attention. He left Ronald free to sneak after William, which was exactly what the blond did.

 

William slipped into the handicapped stall to take care of business, but when he heard the men's room door reopen and close again, he resisted the urge to sigh deeply. He just knew it was Ronald.

 

At that point he felt uncomfortably vulnerable.

 

Since Ronald had to go anyway, he helped himself to one of the urinals. He was silent for a moment, and then let his gaze drift over to the handicap stall, where he could see William's wheelchair. After a brief glance under the rest of the stall doors to see if they were alone — and they were — he decided to speak.

 

"Hey...have you given any thought to that thing I suggested?" he asked casually, as if they were _not_ attending to business in the water closet.

There was silence for a few moments before William's voice echoed sullenly throughout the bathroom.

 

"Do not. Talk to me. While urinating. Ever."

 

 _Or at all? That would be nice too_. He thought about adding that on, but then he'd be breaking his own rule.

 

"Sheesh, like no one else ever does it," Ronald muttered, but he finished up his business before he spoke again.

 

"But seriously! Have you thought about it?" he asked, soaping his hands up. "I know you've been avoiding me, but aren't you at least a little interested in trying it?"

 

William finished up and levered himself back into his wheelchair, then used the small washbasin enclosed in the stall.

 

"No. I'm more than happy continuing my current job, as it happens. I'm Japan's Chief of Science, not some lowly biomed intern. My role is vital."

 

He exited the stall, though to his disappointment Ronald stood between him and the exit.

 

Ronald dried his hands off and then slipped them into his pockets. "You wouldn't have to stop being a scientist," he pointed out, turning to face William. "Besides...could there be any better way to study the kaiju than while they're alive? Getting up close and personal with them like that...that's gotta be way more insightful than looking at dead pieces through microscopes and stuff, right?"

 

"No, you simpleton," William said with exasperation. "There's nothing I could see up close that I haven't seen on high definition cameras. There would of course be no time to study amidst all that trying to stay alive. I'd rather like if you left me alone."

 

"Aw, come on!" Ronald replied in frustration, hunching his shoulders and stamping his foot like a child. "You know that battling a kaiju is way different from just watchin' videos of them! 'Course there'd be no time to study, but that's an experience you're not gonna get anywhere else." He folded his arms across his chest. "What about that connection?" he pressed, blatantly ignoring William's desire to be alone. "You felt it. I know you did. I know we got something."

 

William huffed indignantly. "I'm one person in a million. I promise you will find a drift partner. A blind, crippled, PTSD scientist is not who you want up there with you. I understand that you're lonely and I feel some sympathy towards you. I do. But I'm not the person you need. I'm practically the antithesis."

 

"You're _exactly_ who I want up there with me," Ronald argued. "William, I've been sparring almost every day for the past _year_ trying to find a partner, and I haven't even come close to a fight with you and I just _know_ there's something that can work between us. Being polar opposites isn't even a _problem_ for me. Besides, opposites attract; you can't argue with that much, Mr. Scientist."

 

He stood up straight and tall, fists clenched. "We've all got crap holding us back, and I don't think any physical handicaps are the problem. Mental difficulties can be calmed down in the Drift; I've read about a whole bunch of cases like that."

 

Ronald exhaled slowly in order to calm down a little. "Yeah, I'm lonely, that's true. But I'm not seeking you out because I'm desperate. I singled you out because I really, really think we could do it."

 

William clenched his fists as well, then he sighed angrily .

 

"Jesus Christ. If I agree to do a drift simulation, just one, and it doesn't go well, will you promise to leave me alone?" he asked in exasperation. "You'll let me go back to what I'm good at, what I'm confident at, instead of asking me to do something that is both mentally and physically beyond me. You'll stop stalking me, listening in on my conversations, you'll leave me in peace."

 

Ronald sighed angrily as well, but there was a bit of satisfaction in there, too. William had given an inch, and Ronald was going to take a mile. He actually sort of liked clashing with William, anyway; something about the little fights made him tingly.

 

"Agreed," he replied with a firm nod. "And, y'know, I'm sorry about the whole stalking thing," he added quickly. "I don't like loose ends and I just _had_ to keep trying. 'Sides, it's kinda rude to leave someone hanging like that."

 

Ronald turned towards the mirror, adjusting his hair a little bit, pushing a lock behind his ear. "By the way...when you came to visit me, you asked if I'd felt something when you thought I was kissing you. I never replied."

 

He glanced back over his shoulder at William and smiled. "Well, my answer is that I did."

 

"I don't recall ever being kissed by you," William replied curtly, and eased his way out of the bathroom. "You have half an hour tops, and then I simply must let my more important duties take precedence. Come along now. You do know where the simulation hub deck is?"

 

He didn't wait for an answer.

 

"Technically, it was mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," Ronald replied with a cheeky grin, following William out. "You woke up and slapped me before I could properly close your nasal passageway."

 

He knew where the simulation hub deck was, of course; he'd memorized its location in anticipation of the day he found a drift partner. And now, he knew in his heart, William was going to be it.

 

As they neared it, however, Ronald felt the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand up. He wasn't sure why this was so until they heard thunder rolling outside in the distance. He stumbled in his footsteps, feeling his pulse begin to quicken. Oh, no...

 

William drew ahead, not particularly fussed about what could have distracted Knox. Surely it wasn't hard. The hub deck was currently closed, but William's security clearance was total, and he knew he could get them in. Then he wondered why he didn't just try to postpone it for another day.

 

Normally, Ronald very much liked the hub deck because it offered a very handsome panoramic view of Tokyo and its bay. On a clear day, one could see for miles around, and at night the view was even more spectacular. A sprawling metropolis like Tokyo and all of its wards looked like sparkling jewels scattered across a black velvet landscape.

 

But today was not one of those days. The sky was very dark, but it was not night. It was full of clouds such a deep shade of gray that Ronald was sure that he'd never seen a more threatening-looking oncoming storm.

 

He paled visibly at streaks of lightning dancing among the clouds, bracing himself for the noise that followed. Every cell in his body begged him to run and hide, to not be so high up in a building, so close to the source. But he so badly wanted to drift with William and impress him that he forced himself to stay put, and that force made him tremble like a leaf.

 

William let Ronald in, and they proceeded in silence along the deck. The left wall was lined with large, circular doors, each leading to a hub. Again William used his clearance to access one, the huge door hissing as it unlocked, and he turned to look at Ronald. He frowned instantly at how shaken the poor blond looked. "What on earth is the matter? Cold feet?"

 

And Ronald wasn't even the claustrophobic one! What did he have to worry about?

 

Ronald quickly shook his head, giving William a wide and fake grin. "Ah, nothing!" he replied, a little too cheerfully. "I'm just really, really super excited! I've been waiting to simulate a drift with someone for a really long time — "

 

Thunder clapped overhead — _directly_ overhead — and poor Ronald nearly jumped out of his skin. A little robotically, he leaped into the hub, still forcing himself to smile through his terror. "S-so let's hurry up and try this out, okay?!"

"Whatever."

 

William paused as he went up the little ramp and peered into the hub. It was darkly lit in an eerie blue, and it was no bigger than a child's bedroom, hexagonal in shape. It was not wheelchair accessible, but he knew that. Luckily for him, there were bars along the top that his powerful arms would utilise to get from the door to his platform.

 

"Two human entities detected. Door will close in five seconds," spoke an automated voice from the computer facing them. William climbed from bar to bar, and had just lowered himself down onto his platform as the door closed, cutting him off from his wheelchair for the duration of their drift. With the door closed, the sounds outside were a little muffled, so Ronald thought he might be able to relax a little. It'd be a good break for his frantically pounding heart.

 

Shakily, he got up onto his platform, though he had a moment to appreciate the strength William had in his upper body. It was truly impressive.

 

"J-just...let me know when you're ready, 'kay?" he asked with a grin.

 

"Computer, prepare simulation C3M4TOK," William ordered. "Additional variable: Pilot 2, T2 Lesion Complete break."

 

"Variable successfully integrated."

 

William's platform changed and a chair rose out of the platform, holding him up at Ronald's height. It was so cramped in here, and the sound of booming thunder outside was all too similar to a submarine under attack...

 

"H-hey...we're up pretty high; do you think it's safe for us to be up here right now — ?" Ronald started, before he was interrupted by a clap of thunder so loud that the entire room shook. Immediately with the deafening noise, all of the lights suddenly flickered out, drowning them in pitch black.

 

Ronald’s weak facade broke and he collapsed to his knees, clutching the sides of his head, breathing quickly. "{Oh god, I'm going to die,}" he gasped in Welsh. "{I'm gonna die.}"

 


	4. Shame

William turned to Ronald and stared at him in blatant shock when he heard him whimpering and carrying on. "Mr. Knox...?" he asked cautiously, rubbing his numb legs and quickly giving them a once over to make sure he hadn't received any injuries. He remembered the day of Warmonger's attack, when a building had crushed the SUV he'd been in, he'd gotten to the hospital to find several thick pieces of glass embedded in his legs that his paraplegia didn't see fit notify him of.

 

"Ronald...stop that nonsense. The last thing we need is you carrying on and using up all our oxygen."

 

This was the exact opposite of helpful.

 

Ronald cringed and gripped his hair even tighter, to the point that it was hurting his scalp. "You think I don't know that?!" he snapped, gritting his teeth. "I can't fuckin' deal with this. I'm gonna fuckin' die so at least let me panic a little, all right?!"

 

"So far so good," William applauded sarcastically. "Do you do this every time you try to drift with someone? Or am I just lucky? I would have suspected the power outage as the source of your panic, but you were shaking like a leaf before we even got here."

 

Thunder rattled the walls again, and Ronald cried out and curled into an even tighter ball, squeezing his eyes shut. "You aren't! Helping!!" he gasped, rocking back and forth a little. "I've never tried to drift with anyone!! I'm just maybe a _little_ worried about the fact that we're high up enough to be a goddamn lightning rod in this _fucking storm_!"

 

"Oh. Storms," William remarked, adjusting his glasses. "You're afraid of storms. And you want to fight Kaiju. I know I'm not being your security blanket right now but have you literally stopped to consider this? When 60% of Kaiju appearances have been during thunderstorms?"

 

Ronald turned his head to give William a withering glare. "Do you think I'm fucking stupid?!" he demanded. "Of course I've fucking considered that! I've been _trying_ to work around it, but I'm such a fucking coward that — well — well, you don't even need to use your imagination now, do you?!"

 

He turned his head away again, resting his forehead on his knees, and sighed in disgust at himself. "I've been trying to find the right drift partner because I know when you form the neural link, your partner has the ability to calm you down if you're afraid. It's what I hoped to do for you if you had a PTSD trigger, but...well, you don't seem very sympathetic at all so I'm starting to wonder if I was wrong."

 

Of course....how the tables had turned.

 

"I've only been trying to convince you of that since you first came up with the idea," William responded with a huff.  


Ronald felt his eye twitch. He held his arms tighter around his knees. "I just wanna save people, but how the fuck am I supposed to do that if I can't even deal with shit like this? God, I'm so pathetic. No _wonder_ you don't wanna drift."

 

"Thus begins the hypocrisy," William remarked with a sigh. Then a loud, intense clap of thunder went off, and it must have been right on top of them because even William startled.

 

Ronald let out another cry of fear which dissolved into a long whine, and then frightened sobs that he tried desperately to stifle and hold back. Tears began to run down his cheeks, and he shook his head. "You're making it worse," he wept. "Please, just...just leave me alone... _please_..."

 

William drew back obediently, but just sitting there and listening to Ronald Knox crying made his heart ache with guilt. "I...I'm sorry," he attempted quietly. He made a grown man cry, so clearly he was making it worse. "You didn't deserve that. Really, I'm sorry." He inched a little closer and reached out to touch his shoulder.

Ronald flinched at first, overstimulated in all of his senses, but he lifted his head up, fixing his glassy, tear-filled eyes upon William's face. Once it registered that it was only William that had touched him and nothing dangerous, he relaxed just the tiniest fraction and moved closer in return, accepting that touch.

 

"I'm sorry too," he whispered as he quietly wept. "I'm such a jerk when I'm scared. Sorry..."

 

William moved closer too, until he'd wrapped his arm around Ronald. "Come on...let's sit together by the wall. It will be a little warmer there," he said quietly, and wordlessly pulled himself over in that direction.

 

"See, the thing is, I know exactly what you mean," William said when they were settled together by the wall. "Because right now, I'm a little scared too. And for me, my first instinct is to put up a huge wall between myself and anyone else around me, because I feel vulnerable..."

 

Ronald's body warmth was spectacularly soothing, he noted. He felt the blond calming down as he made the honest confession.

 

Ronald faintly registered the incredible strength in William's arms as he pulled the both of them over to the wall. He leaned heavily against him, almost clinging to William like a lifeline. Even with his ear only on William's shoulder, he could still hear the pulse of his heart, and it was as soothing as his mother's embrace.

 

"You're scared too, huh," he mumbled, sniffling. "But why would you put walls up when everyone likes you so much...? If I had that kind of charisma...I'd never have to be afraid again because I'd be surrounded by people. As it is...I'm alone."

 

William shrugged slightly. "I'm not like you. I don't need or even want to be surrounded by people. And I put up walls because I'm afraid to lose their respect. How hard I have to work so that people do not take pity on me, do not consider me weak. If I started to cry every time I felt triggered, no one would ever take me seriously. I'd be an embarrassment."

 

William sighed and gave Ronald a little squeeze. Pouring one's heart out to a stranger was not easy.

 

Ronald shut his eyes and huddled against William, shivering as thunder continued to boom around them. "I've never cried in front of anyone like this before," he whispered, self consciously wiping his eyes. "I've always managed to be alone when this happens." He turned his head a little, pressing his face against William's jacket. "I don't think you're weak, if it counts," he added very quietly. "You've let me in and I still really like you."

 

"I haven't let you in," William replied softly, his heart aching. "Not really. It's one thing to state the fact of what ails you. It's another to be stricken by that ailment and allow another to see you in such a state, like how I see you now."

 

The physical contact seemed soothing to both of them. Their connection, perhaps. Something felt right about it.

 

"When my comrades died, and you pulled me out of the wreck.... Every bone in my body willed me to break down and weep for them. But I couldn't...even though it was tearing me apart. I couldn't even compose myself fully... It was all I could do to move myself a short distance away and create a wall of silence. If I had behaved the way I wanted to, you would think me pathetic."

 

Ronald shook his head, slowly holding onto William's arm and hugging it lightly. "No, I wouldn't," he whispered. "It'd be traumatic for anyone. I wouldn't have judged you if you cried. It just...makes you human. If you'd cried, I would've done for you what you're doing for me right now."

 

"Well, you're different to them," William said simply. "There doesn't seem to be much at all I can do to make you dislike me."

 

He was glad for a change of topic.

 

"Just take deep breaths. Listen to my heartbeat. We'll get out of here before too long."

 

Ronald nodded faintly and relaxed against William, drawing heat and comfort from him. Even as the storm continued to rage on, William's presence somehow managed to make it more bearable. The blond still shivered and whimpered quietly in William's arms, but his heavy weeping had ceased.

 

Between claps of thunder, Ronald slowly shifted his gaze to William's face. "William," he asked very quietly, "...can I hold your hand again?"

 

"Oh... oh, very well then," sighed the brunet, and offered his hand to Ronald. "What happens in the hub stays in the hub."

 

He certainly wouldn't be in a hurry to tell how they'd clung to each other like barnacles to a ship and whispered soothing words.

 

Ronald wouldn't, either; he was a rowdy and cocky young soldier, but he was definitely not a gossip. It would stay between them. "Yeah, 'course...don't worry about that," he murmured. He reached out and gently grasped William's warm hand, and immediately felt that distinct sensation of rightness and harmony. His fingers closed around William's, and a faint blush appeared on his pale face.

 

"...There it is again," he whispered.

 

William gripped Ronald's hand in turn, gazing down at their entwined fingers. Then his handsome eyes flicked upwards, meeting Ronald's.

 

"I don't know if...if I'm feeling it as strongly as you are." Ronald's lips caught his eye. "What about that time? You said you felt it...Was it stronger back then...?"

 

"Yeah," Ronald whispered shyly. His fingers closed just a little tighter around William's. "Even though it wasn't supposed to be intimate, I could feel that connection."

 

He looked into William's eyes, examining that beautiful glacial silvery-blue, and felt his cheeks grow hotter. It didn't help that he found himself looking at William's lips, as well.

 

"I want to feel that again," he whispered, a little nervously. "...Can I kiss you, William?"

 

William's heart began to race. This request demanded more forethought.

 

Or did it?

 

William realised that if he just stopped thinking, he could go right ahead and do it. So he took a deep breath and nodded once.

 

"You may kiss me."

 

Ronald's heart was already racing frantically due to multiple factors, but now it was starting to miss a few beats. He nodded when he had permission, and swallowed hard to wet his dry throat.

 

Slowly, the blond leaned up and closed the distance between their mouths, kissing William tenderly. Their lips seemed to fit together perfectly, like matching puzzle pieces, and Ronald swore he felt fireworks inside his chest.

 

This was it. It was right. Not only did they need to drift, they needed to be a couple.

 

A couple?

 

The thought hadn't ever crossed William's mind. But the moment he thought it, he realised that he liked the idea, and he liked it a lot. There were sparks going off. William hadn't done drift simulation that much, and the feeling of drift was not as clear to him as it was to Ronald. But if he could feel this, he could only imagine what it must be like for Ronald.

 

Ronald's lips were beautifully soft and plump, and William felt lost in them. The feeling of their noses brushing together, and cheek against cheek...it was all so tantalising.

 

Ronald had had a few boyfriends up to that point, but not a single one of them had affected him this much with just one kiss. A _first_ kiss, at that. This one had left all of them far behind. He sighed helplessly, melting into the kiss and melting into William's touch, and reached up with his free hand to gently grip William's shoulder for better leverage. William's lips were so tender and welcoming, and Ronald could smell the crisp, masculine scent of whatever shampoo William used. He loved it.

 

From William's movements, Ronald could sense that he was enjoying this every bit as much as he was. He was so relieved that it was mutual. Something about this was just downright magical.

 

William squirmed delightedly, taking hold of Ronald in turn. It seemed to last forever until they separated, a spider thread of saliva connecting them.

 

His eyes were hazy for a few moments.

 

"...Well, that's that then..."

 

Ronald had to gasp softly for breath, his eyes hazy as well, but he didn't want to stop. "Will you drift with me?" he whispered, holding William's hand just a little tighter. "When this storm is over, will you drift with me...?"

 

"Tomorrow," William promised. "I've got a lot to think about, you understand. But I promise I'll drift with you then."

 

He sat back, tugging his shirt lightly to get some air to his chest, which was now rather hot. He was sweating a little; oxygen wasn't being regularly cycled into the hub.

"Okay," Ronald whispered, finally drawing back. Still blushing hard, he pushed his hair back, and it was then that the power flickered back to life. The lights came back on, control panel activating once more, and air began cycling into the hub again.

 

A little comically, William's chair that had disappeared rather suddenly popped back up from the floor.

 

Ronald sighed in relief, appreciating the fresh air that was now blowing down on them from the vents. He pushed his fluffy blond hair back again. "Thank you," he murmured with a faint smile. "For everything."

 

"Oh. Yes, of course. And not a moment too soon," William responded in regards to the power, wiping his damp forehead.

 

And he was squirming uncomfortably with a need for the restroom again. Thank god he didn't need to deal with that for much longer.

 

"Will you help me into my chair?" he asked Ronald a bit shyly. William wouldn't crawl in front of someone else, not if there was another option. And this was quicker.

"Oh! Yeah, of course," Ronald answered, just a little flustered. "Here..."

 

He reached out and hooked one arm under William's knees and secured the other around his shoulders, and then carefully lifted him up. William was somehow lighter than Ronald had expected, though this was still a grown man here.

 

He carried William to the chair that had reappeared, and eased him into it. Luckily the storm seemed to be passing, so Ronald was able to accomplish it without trembling. "There you go..."

William raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing. He'd intended to be placed into his wheelchair, but Ronald inexplicably had placed him in his drift chair instead.

 

Maybe the kiss really had addled his thoughts.

 

"Exit drift sequence," he commanded the computer, the large door to the hub hissed and clicked, beginning to open.

 

He would just have to get into the wheelchair himself.

 

Glancing up at the ceiling, he tested if he could reach the bars along the ceiling, and luckily he could. But pulling himself up to hang from the ceiling proved quite a strain.   
He'd only climbed about four rungs when he recognised to his utmost horror the sensation of releasing one's bladder, and there was absolutely nothing he could do.

 

Ronald was watching to make sure William would make it safely across back to his wheelchair, but when he realized what was happening, he went utterly scarlet. "O-oh!" he uttered, heating up with secondhand embarrassment. He sort of understood _why_ it happened; paraplegics probably didn't have good bladder control, and here was gravity just doing its thing.

 

"U-uh...is there...something I can do? About this?" he asked cautiously.

 

William wasn't about to just hang there. He dropped down quickly and turned away, folding in on himself in some vain hope of not making a complete mess.

 

Red to the tips of his ears, William had to stare firmly away as a golden pool blossomed around where he sat.

 

"Oh, god...."

 

Fate certainly wasn't smiling on him there. Of all times and places...! The woes of paraplegia.

 

"I need you to give me s-some privacy," he muttered ashamedly. "I've got someone I can call."

 

Ronald was extremely ashamed by how arousing this situation actually was to him. It probably was a better idea to give him some privacy. "Ah, right...okay. If you're sure," he stammered, stepping back out of the room. "Um...I'll see you tomorrow," he added awkwardly.

 

William didn't look up. "You promised. What happens i-in the hub...stays here..." he said under his breath, arms folded in frustration. "You won't tell."

 

Fat chance he'd show up tomorrow. He was far too mortified to think about drifting right now, or even showing his face. Unable to bear being under Ronald's gaze, he promptly shut the door in his face so that he could call someone reliable, someone who understood and could help.

 

Ronald left, practically his whole body blushing, and made his way back to his bunk. The whole walk there, he shivered a little, but not from fear; this time, it was excitement and arousal. He would have to take care of a few things before going to bed that night.

 

 

 

 

Sebastian Michaelis, meanwhile, had the grace to come when called, and entered the drift simulation hub where William lay, shutting the door behind him for privacy. He carried with him towels, a clean pair of trousers and underwear, and a small duffel bag to carry them in for discretion.

 

He sort of liked the code they had come up with for incidents like this: 'apple juice flood'. Innocuous, if strange, to outsiders and instantly understood between William and Sebastian only.

 

"Goodness," he said softly, pulling the towels from the bag and beginning to help William clean up. "Now, what brought you here, William?"

 

William didn't really want to talk about it, but he was always grateful beyond belief when Sebastian helped him out like this.

 

"You," he sulked as he undressed, facing the wall. "Had you distracted him earlier, he would never have convinced me to drift with him. And we wouldn't have gotten trapped in here."

 

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Goddamnit. I feel such a fool, Sebastian."

 

Sebastian smiled interestedly, raising an eyebrow. "Now, _that_ is quite an event," he responded. "You've never agreed to drift with anyone."

 

He helped William work off his trousers, and handed him another towel so that William could dry himself off. "I can only imagine that the storm is what trapped you in here...the power went out for me, as well."

 

When William was dry, Sebastian handed him the clean clothing. "And by 'him'...you must mean Ronald Knox."

 

William batted Sebastian's hand away, more than capable of getting dressed by himself. But gods, handicapped life was frustrating. "Of course; who else?" William scowled as he eased his belt back on. "Strangely enough, we actually bonded, in here. We kissed. And then I went and....ruined it. And somehow he thinks I'll want to drift with him tomorrow. It's ridiculous."

 

Sebastian smiled, even more interested now. This kind of behavior was most unlike him, which made Ronald Knox an extremely fascinating character, if he could get William to do such things.

 

"You brought him here to drift today," Sebastian replied simply, packing William's wet clothing into the duffel bag. "I'm guessing you were unable to do so before the power went out. If you are sincere about it...if, even after witnessing this, he still wants to try drifting...I strongly believe you should let him."

 

He met William's eyes and gave him a playful smile. "You don't kiss just anyone, Takuya-san. He might truly be worth your while."

 

William groaned as he helped Sebastian clean up the last of it. "He kissed me, let's be clear," he grumbled. "And you know what? I fought and fought this, only to finally give in, and when it seemed like things might go well.... _this_ happens. _This_ , after...how hard I've worked."

 

Sebastian knew that when William had first broken his spine, he'd suffered complete incontinence. It had taken multiple surgeries and months of training to gain back control in that aspect of his life, and so his smile became more sympathetic at William's words. "You've done extremely well so far," he reminded him gently, packing the towels back up. He handed William a bottle of his favorite cologne to mask the scent of urine. "A very occasional incident like this is bound to happen, and it is no fault of yours. Your journey of recovery truly has been incredible."

 

William took the cologne appreciatively. "You're kind, Sebastian," he said simply, and when he was finally back in his wheelchair, he let out a sigh. Control was back within his grasp. "Still, I doubt he'll want to be kissing me again. Will you join me for a cigarette?"

"Gladly," Sebastian returned as he got to his feet. "But whether that boy would like to kiss you again or not remains to be seen. Try not to jump to conclusions."

 

He opened the hub door for William, letting him pass through it first. "Mostly...I'm interested in _how_ this situation lead up to something so intimate as kissing," he thought aloud, flashing William a playful smirk.

 

"I'm sure you are," William replied smoothly, his spirits finally recovering as they left the deck. "I'd very much like to use those same tactics on you, if they were likely to work. Alas, I doubt it."

 

"Well, don't leave me in the dark," Sebastian replied loftily, striding alongside William's wheelchair. "What kind of tactics were they, then? Mm...perhaps I could steal an idea or two for Ciel."

 

William smirked faintly. "No, you've completely turned me off the idea," he declared. "It's not as if you have any trouble anyway."

 

And wasn't it just the biggest injustice of all? How happy Sebastian was with the boy he'd left him for? But William owed Sebastian too much, and after days like today, that debt was ever increasing.

 

They chatted over their cigarettes in the smoking room, and then William went home. He had Mr. Humphries over that night to vent his frustrations out on, again and again.

 

But maybe a drift would be better for that, somehow.

 

 

 

Ronald had butterflies in his stomach the next day. He and William hadn't really agreed on a time or a place to meet up; just the vague notion of "tomorrow".

 

After he had performed his duties — roll call, voluntary custodial work, gym, sparring — he showered and waited anxiously for William to show up in the cafeteria during the lunch hour. He wasn't terribly interested in his curry, but he made himself eat it anyway to keep up his strength. To quell his nervousness, he snuck tiny sips of whiskey from a flask in his cargo pants pocket. It helped.

 

But William had no intention of showing up there. As it happened, he was finally making progress with Pluto the autistic savant, and didn't feel like going for lunch. He'd been working flat out all day, and the microorganism cultures he'd received for research were finally blossoming with unexpected results. That would take a lot of work, and maybe even Pluto to make up for the excessive computer power needed to analyse the findings.

 

Subsequently, Ronald couldn't help but feel a little betrayed when William never showed up. He almost always saw William in the lunchroom, so he couldn't help but miss him.

 

 _He's too embarrassed to show up_ , he thought unhappily. _He got cold feet_.

 

Too bad for William that Ronald was never one to give up.

 

He finished up his lunch and determinedly made his way down to the Kaiju Research Lab, where his ID denied him entry. Huffing and puffing his cheeks out in annoyance, he peeked through the sliver of a window, made of two-way bulletproof glass.

 

There he was. Hovering over a computer with an extremely pale young man.

 

Huffed up with more determination than ever, Ronald rapped his knuckles sharply on the window to get their attention.

 

Pluto made a very distressed sound and dove under the desk. William glanced up sharply, and the second he saw Ronald he went scarlet. He shook his head then to say 'go away', but this did not dissuade Ronald and he did not leave. A pretty young female scientist in pigtails came over to the door, more than happy to save William the trip. Ever the clutz, she tripped over her feet and nearly headbutted the door before she caught herself, and hurriedly opened up.

 

"S-sorry, Private, uh, Knox!" she cried, squinting at his ID. "Oh, i-it seems you don't have clearance for this area! Um, uh, what seems to be the problem, huh?"

 

Ronald found her flustered clumsiness very endearing, and gave her a soft smile. "I have some business with Dr. Spears," he replied, resting his hands in his pockets. "We'd arranged a meeting, but, uh...well, I never made a time or a place to meet. So, I came to see him. I hope that's all right..."

 

"Oh, yes, it's just that, Dr. Spears is very, very busy, a-and it's not like him not to arrange a meeting time, if he was...um, really going to..." She went terribly red and adjusted her circular glasses. "Not saying you're lying, or that he doesn't want to see you, he's really very nice — so nice! — it's just—"

 

"For goodness sakes, Mei Rin. That's enough," William called, putting her out of her misery. "Look after Pluto. I'll handle him."

 

Ronald chuckled and patted Mei Rin's shoulder as he passed her, but something she'd said suddenly registered with him.

 

It wasn't like William to not arrange a meeting time if he was really planning on making it to that meeting.

 

 

So Ronald had indeed been deliberately stood up.

 

What was last night, then? Was it a lie? Sweet nothings and empty kisses? God, William's lips. Thinking about that electrifying pleasure made Ronald's fingertips tingle slightly.

 

With these things in mind, Ronald approached William, looking a little more somber. He bowed courteously and said softly, "Good afternoon, Dr. Spears."

 

William stared hard at him once he'd left Pluto's desk and settled back behind his own. "...Private," he replied. "...Can I help you? We're really rather busy right now." The sound of Pluto howling in a canine manner further asserted this.

 

"Sorry; I won’t be long," Ronald replied with a polite smile. "But I wondered if maybe you forgot about our meeting plans."

 

He glanced back at Pluto once the howling grew louder. "...Is that guy all right?" he mumbled to himself with a concerned crease in his brow.

 

William found he couldn't meet Ronald's eyes. "Surely you didn't think...that..." He trailed away, not really wanting to put into words what he didn't have to. "Would you have still wanted to, if it had been you?"

 

Ronald stared hard at William. "Probably not," he replied, politeness slipping. "I know where you're coming from. But if I'd made a promise like you had, I'd swallow my pride and show up anyway," he replied frankly.

 

William took offense to that, though he remembered guiltily that he had promised.

 

"Well aren't you the rock of moral righteousness?" he returned stiffly. "I never said I _wouldn't_ , but I wasn't bursting to show my face to you again in such a hurry, now was I? Insensitive..." he trailed off, looking away.

 

Ronald set his jaw a little. "Look, man, I wouldn't either, but you made a promise. I waited for you," he said in faint irritation. "And I trusted you. Because I'm damn serious about wanting to drift and I really thought you were too. Otherwise, I don't know what last night was supposed to be."

 

"It's not as easy for me as you think!" William said, raising his voice. "Don't you try and beat me over the head about that promise when you couldn't care less about how I'm feeling and you haven't from the start!"

 

Every scientist within earshot had turned in their direction. William tried to take steady breaths. Ronald waited for William to calm himself, and gave any onlookers significant looks to silently request privacy.

 

"I do care," he replied quietly. "I know I'm really bad at showing it. But it's true. Look, I know I can be a real stubborn arse a lot, but I just can't shake any of these feelings. That we're _supposed_ to drift."

 

William glared.

 

"Maybe if you stopped talking about drifting for five minutes and even attempted to get to know me, then maybe I wouldn't feel so ashamed, and maybe I'd want to try harder at this. But you're just a stranger to me," he replied, his eyes glassy.

 

At least one scientist had come to William's aid, but he declined their help and sent them away.

 

"Why _would_ I give up everything for you, honestly?"

 

Ronald finally cast his gaze down. "...I don't have an answer for that," he admitted. "Except that I don't think you'd have to give everything up. Especially not for me."

 

One arm reached up and rubbed sheepishly at the opposite elbow. "...And you're right. I haven't been treating you like a human being, and I'm sorry. I do wanna get to know you. Even if I can't shut up about wanting to drift. I don't want to be strangers; I wanna know you too. More than the surface."

William stared at his desk. "Do that, then ask me again," he said quietly. "I don't have it in me right now."

 

Ronald nodded faintly, though he still hurt inside. "Fair enough," he replied. "Then...after I left the drift hub last night...ah...did you get everything taken care of all right? I feel like I probably should have stayed behind for you..."

 

William bit his lower lip, still a bit on edge.

 

"You are rather in the habit of running off in times of need," he said cautiously. "I didn't even get a chance to explain myself. But my reliable friend," he said deliberately, "came to my aid. Fixed up in no time."

 

"I see," Ronald murmured, rubbing his arm a little. "That's good; I'm glad he was there for you."

 

He shifted his weight to one leg. "I'm sorry I ran away again. I do kinda have a bad habit, don't I...? I, uh...well, I kinda get the instinct to run away if I get yelled at. Didn't know what else to do."

 

Ronald smiled bitterly and glanced away. "Though I realize now I should've been the reliable friend in the first place."

 

"If you're lucky you might get another chance," William replied, adjusting his glasses uneasily. "And I might let you into my life after that. I just don't know if I want to give you an all-access pass inside my head. It's cheating. That's not how you should get to know someone."

 

"Yeah...that's true," the blond admitted reluctantly. "But that was never how I intended on getting to know you. Like I said, I want to be your friend. But you promised we'd try drifting today. It's just to see if we're compatible. To make absolutely sure if my hunch is right. And if there's anywhere you don't want me to be if we build the neural bridge...you can push me out."

 

He finally met William's eyes again. "I'm serious. And here's my promise, too: if we can drift, I promise I won't push into places you don't want me. And I'll stop bugging you afterwards, whatever the results. 'Cause I know you're busy here, and I don't want you to feel like you have to drop everything for me. You're important here most of all."

 

William knew that. He knew his worth here, and Ronald was a boy he more often than not just felt unhappy around.

 

He closed his eyes, wishing he could send him away once and for all.

 

"Will you forever hold it over my head if we don't drift today?" he asked quietly. "What I was feeling when I agreed to it...I've lost that feeling for now, and I cannot will it back."

 

Ronald was extremely disappointed, and he couldn't help it from showing on his face. He dropped his gaze as his heart sank, and he sighed quietly. "...No," he murmured. "I won't hold it against you. I understand."

 

He didn't really; he'd seen it in William's eyes the night before. Of course the mood wasn't the same now...things got significantly awkward after that kiss. It wasn't really either of their faults, but at the same time it was the both of them. Ronald was disappointed nonetheless.

 

"Ah, well...I guess we'll drift eventually," he thought aloud. "In any case...I'm just glad you're alright. And...I never really thanked you properly for helping me calm down. No one's ever done that for me before, so...if there's some way I can make it up to you, will you let me know?"

 

William rubbed his arm. "I think that doing what you said— treating me like a human being— would be more than enough. Showing me I'm not just a tool to you, a means to an end. What we shared yesterday.....I want to feel that again."

 

He clenched his fists uneasily. "Tall order, I know."

 

Ronald let out a very faint chuckle and shook his head with a smile. "No...it's not too much to ask. I want to feel that again too. I really like you, William. Not just in that sense, but in every sense. So I really do wanna do right by you."

 

He suddenly remembered something, and then turned and began to dig into his pockets. "By the way...since you didn't ever show up at the cafeteria, I thought you might be hungry. So I brought you these."

 

He pulled out a couple of protein bars and a can of milk coffee and held them out to William. "I dunno if you like these flavors or not...so if you don't like them, you can give them to someone else. I don't mind. They're just from the cafeteria vending machines..."

 

William glanced down at the vending machine food he'd been offered and went slightly pink. Hesitantly he reached out and took them, eyes averted, muttering a quiet 'thank you.'

 

"That was, ahem, th-thoughtful of you."

Ronald smiled sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head. "Ah, well...you're working down here all the time; you shouldn't have to go hungry," he replied. "They should put some vending machines down here too, don't you think? That'd be pretty convenient."

 

William arranged the candy bars into straight lines diligently. "I'm grateful for basic amenities and access down here," he replied quietly. "It cost a lot of money. Vending machines weren't my highest priority."

 

"Ah, that's true," Ronald conceded, folding his arms. He paused for a moment, and then tilted his head. "Wait — 'your'?" he echoed. "Did you like, design the lab or something like that?"

 

William perked up a little.

 

"Of course. When they asked me to work here, Tokyo Jaeger Base wasn't really existent. A lot of work had to be done. They told me what had to be included and I worked with architects and other scientists to design the place. Now I think about it, maybe a vending machine wasn't such a bad idea. The cafeteria's so far away."

 

Ronald's eyes widened, clearly impressed. "Huuhhh, really?" he asked excitedly. "I didn't know that. That's really cool! You really are one of the most important people here, huh? If you can make huge decisions like that. If you guys have a break room or something a vending machine could go in there. But I wonder what's better...one for snacks, or one for drinks? Both is pretty expensive, huh," he mused to himself.

 

William managed a weak smile. "Well, I won't protest your company so much now, but even I can't sit around talking about vending machines. I couldn't accept that as an affordable use of my time."

 

Ronald caught himself, blushing with embarrassment, but managed to laugh it off. "Ah, you're right! That's some really crappy small talk. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to waste your time." He held his hands behind his back, glancing around at the tall cylindrical tanks filled with preserved Kaiju parts. "But if you ever got a little extra time, I'd be interested in taking a peek around here. I didn't really appreciate it last time."

 

He glanced back at William and smiled apologetically. "And I'm sorry again that I called it all 'nerd shit' last time I was here. I know it's important."

 

William raised an eyebrow. "Presumably you had an impression to make. We simply don't care for that type here, is all. Without intelligence, we'd all be long dead."

 

"Yeah, I'll bet," Ronald murmured. "That first one...I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw such a huge monster completely wasting San Francisco. I thought I was dreaming. But we know a lot of their weaknesses now. I bet you've found most of them, huh?" he asked with a grin.

 

"You shouldn't be so confident. Because maybe they'll start to find some of ours," William warned quietly, and then the phone rang, interrupting them.

 

A pretty Scottish woman picked it up.

 

Ronald's smile faded a little, and he looked at William questioningly. Before he could ask what made William say that, the woman who answered the phone let out a loud exclamation.

 

"What do you _mean_ they found Claude Faustus?!" she demanded, gripping the receiver. "It's been three months; that man was fish food!”

 

Claude Faustus...alive? Impossible.

 

The employee on the phone looked up at William with wide eyes, covering the phone's mouthpiece with her hand. "Claude Faustus just washed up in Tokyo Bay. He's /alive/. It's him. Fingerprints match; there's no way he's an imposter -- yes, I heard you the first three times!" she snapped back to whoever was on the other end of the line. "We're sending people over to the hospital right now."

William was stunned, white with disbelief.

How....how could Claude Faustus possibly be alive?! It had been three months since he disappeared-- no, since he drowned.

 

"I need to be there. I need to see him when he wakes up," he uttered softly. "Get me clearance and his location."

"Yes, sir," the scientist replied obediently, scrawling something onto a nearby notepad while balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear. "Dr. Spears is volunteering entry," she spoke into the receiver. "Identification number is..." and she proceeded to rattle off his identification to the dispatcher. After a few moments, she hung up.

 

"You're clear for entry, Dr. Spears," she told him. "Tell us if it's true."

"Thank you graciously, Shelagh," William replied. "I'll have a full report."


End file.
